Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

A few individual claim that education centers focus on structured learning. This gives a student a mind power ability as well as things to catchup quekly as posible. Another necessary think is that schools should give imortant in informal learing also, so that it can familiour with surrounding.

To start with, some schools mainly focus on rigid learning. It maily helps for mind power. In such a environment they usally work with set of rules, so that they are really familior with all situation.This impove their problem solving skill. For example, A student is weak in study but his ability to remember set of instuction is great then their problem solving skills were grow.

Furthermore this also help to catchup the thing as quikly as possible. For exmaple, their is a study were a school is testing that in which subject child is doing nice and in that area he is intrested to learn more.

To be more precise, It is necessary for them to play while study. Outdoor activies have major role in toddelers life. This help to learn more about environment and they familior with surrounding. For example, My younger brother his school has one facility that is very useful for him. Their school has a playground and they play their. His teacher always learn him about outdoor sports and give knowledge about nature.

In conclusion, i believe that formal learning has it's own benefits and it help for students learning ability as well as playing also reduce the stress.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both parts of the question: you discuss benefits of structured learning and state that play is necessary, mentioning outdoor activities, the environment and stress reduction. However, your position on whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning is not consistently clear. Most of the essay describes possible benefits of formal learning rather than explaining whether its current emphasis is excessive. Several points are also under-developed: the example about a school testing which subject a child likes is difficult to connect to your argument, and the playground example does not explain in detail how play supports learning. State your degree of agreement directly, then develop each reason with a clear explanation and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To start with,” “Furthermore” and “To be more precise” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression between ideas is sometimes unclear: the paragraph about catching up quickly does not clearly follow from the point about rigid learning, and the school-study example is hard to interpret. References such as “this” and “their” do not always make clear which idea or people they refer to. The conclusion also introduces stress reduction without developing it earlier. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, and connect examples explicitly to that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education, including “structured learning,” “problem solving,” “informal learning,” “outdoor activities” and “reduce the stress.” This gives the response some topic-specific language, but the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “mind power ability,” “catchup quekly,” “familiour with surrounding” and “set of instuction.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “a study were a school is testing.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than trying to use complex wording. Proofread spelling carefully and learn useful phrases for discussing classroom learning, children’s development and the benefits of play.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple sentences and make some attempts to link clauses, for example, “so that they are really familior with all situation.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences difficult to understand. In “A student is weak in study but his ability … is great then their problem solving skills were grow,” the conditional relationship, pronouns and verb forms are not controlled. There are also problems with agreement and articles, as in “this also help” and “in such a environment.” Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly where sentences run together. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and past and present verb forms, then build longer sentences from clear, correct clauses.

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