Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent year, the way of formal learning has been increasingly shaped by primary school. I compeletely agree with these view, but I belive that play for children is also important as well a learning. This infulance has become widespread due to globalization.In my opinion paly although there are some drawbacks, but aslo largely positive development.

This is true that primary school are becoming more focus on formal learning. Firstly, Primary school encourge the student for more focus on writing, reading and mathematics at early age to get high score in exam. Take an example of Australia, Where teacher give alot of homework and weeklly tests are to students. Which creat stress and effect on accdamic score. Secondlly, Teachers also have pressure toward school for to cover the sallybus quickly, so they spend less time on creative activities.

However, There are multiple benefits associated with play. Playing in not less important than learning in primary classroom. Play helps a children to develop social skill. when students are play together mprove the communication skill. Also develop stratagies how to sove different problem. For instance in Jappan, where school encourage the student to involve in extre-cuurical activities. such as building blocks or role play games improve their creativity and confidance, outdoor games make children active,and also helps student to give bettetr concentration in classroom.

To Sum up, I agree that schools focus to much on formal education. Therefore I belive that combination of both education and extra-curical activities make children healthy, happy and successfull learner.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, while also arguing that play is important. You address both questions and give relevant examples, including homework and tests in Australia and play activities such as building blocks and role-play. These points support the main argument, but some are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the link between weekly tests and students’ academic scores is unclear, and the Japan example would be stronger if you explained how the activities demonstrate the benefits of play in the classroom. To develop the response further, explain the effects of formal learning and play more precisely and connect each example directly to your position. The response already shows a clear stance and relevant support, but development is uneven.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on formal learning, a paragraph on play, and a conclusion. The contrast between “Firstly” and “However” helps signal the shift in argument, and the final sentence returns to your main view. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. For instance, the sentence beginning “Take an example of Australia” is followed by a fragment, and the ideas about play move quickly from social skills to problem-solving and concentration without clear links. Some connectors, such as “This is true that,” are awkward or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. Use complete sentences, clearer referencing, and more precise transitions to make the argument flow more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “creative activities,” “social skill,” “communication,” and “concentration.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning harder to follow. Examples include “focus on writing” where “focus on” needs a clearer subject, “pressure toward school,” and “combination of both education and extra-curricular activities.” Spelling errors such as “compeletely,” “stratagies,” and “confidance” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of topic-specific phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully; more precise expressions would help you explain the benefits and drawbacks with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrastive clause in “although there are some drawbacks” and examples introduced with “For instance.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “primary school are becoming more focus” has problems with agreement and construction, while “when students are play together” uses an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “Take an example of Australia” is not completed grammatically, and several sentences begin with fragments such as “Also develop strategies.” Practise building complete sentences around one main idea, then check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

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