Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that primary education places an excessive emphasis on structured academic instructions. I completly agree with this view, as tough curriculum often neglects the young children developmental needs. Furthermore, integrating play alongside formal study is vital for fostering creativity, social skills, and cognitive engagement in young learners.

With the progression of time, the academic burden on children is also inceasing. Nowadays, primary schoolers have relatively rigid and tough curricula compared to that in past. While meeting the demands of completing the syllabus, primary institutions neglect the need of physical activities for young learners. Therefore, children faces a lot of study pressure and the lack of play is affecting their development.

Physical activies like playing foster creativity in children as it relaxes their mind, and children feels a sense of relieve from study pressure. Moreover, it also enhances social skills in children as they learn how to collaborate with each other. Playing in teams develop companionship, endurance, and leadership skills in children.

Learning and playing side by side in a school classroom will provide a better and healty environment in the classroom and it also helps students pick things faster. For example, during a lesson, teacher can include a small activity related to that lesson, and encourge students to participate actively in that activity. In this way, students will learn faster instead of just teaching and have them memorise the lesson.

In conclusion, it is vital to include play in pimary school classroom along with formal learning to develp critical thinking in students and to enhance cognitive engagement. This can be achieved by including small activities in the lesson where students learn by role plays or in teams, this will also help develop a positive environment in classroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that formal learning is overemphasised, and you address both the pressure of academic curricula and the value of play. The response gives relevant reasons, including creativity, social skills, teamwork and learning through classroom activities. The example of a teacher adding an activity to a lesson helps make your view concrete. This fits a response that covers all parts and supports its main ideas. To develop the argument further, explain the effects of academic pressure with a specific example, and expand on how play supports cognitive development rather than mainly listing benefits. Some claims, such as curricula becoming more demanding over time, would also be stronger with explanation or evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs develop the pressure of formal study and the benefits of play, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Moreover,” and “For example” help guide the reader. The paragraph about classroom activities also connects play directly to learning. To make the progression more flexible, avoid relying on a similar pattern of adding points and then summarising them. The final paragraph repeats several ideas from the introduction and body; use it instead to draw together the argument. Also clarify references such as “this” in “this will also help develop,” so the reader can immediately identify the activity or approach being referred to.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “structured academic instructions,” “cognitive engagement,” “collaborate,” and “leadership skills.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some show an attempt to use more precise or academic language. However, there are several spelling errors, including “completly,” “inceasing,” and “healty,” alongside word-choice or collocation problems such as “tough curriculum” and “a sense of relieve.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy and naturalness. Aim to check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships, for example, “demanding curriculum” and “a sense of relief.” More precise vocabulary would also help distinguish the different benefits of play rather than repeating broad terms such as “development.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “as,” “while,” and “where,” and most ideas remain understandable. Some sentences are controlled effectively, such as the example explaining how a teacher can include an activity in a lesson. However, some grammatical errors recur. Subject–verb agreement is inaccurate in “children faces,” “children feels,” and “Playing in teams develop.” There are also problems with articles and noun forms, as in “in past” and “the need of physical activities,” and the sentence beginning “For example, during a lesson, teacher…” needs an article. Review agreement, articles, and plural forms, then proofread each sentence. Greater accuracy across these structures would make your varied sentence forms more effective.

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