Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, the focus of primary schools have increased significantly on formal learning. I totally agree with this view, and I belive that the focus should be more on practical learning and making the classroom more lively rather than formal. I think it is important for children to play as well as learn in the classroom because this productive balance helps them to concentrate and be better in their academics.

On the one hand, focusing much on formal learning makes students feel boring. For example, in a science classroom, if schools paid attention to only formal learning and avoid practical implementation then students will not be present to the classroom because too much learning disconnects or sometimes distracts the students very much. As a result, they will feel less interested in the subject, and this will affect their overall performance and grading as well.

On the other hand, it is very important for the children to play and learn in the school because this will be interesting for them. For instance, after a lesson or a topic, if there is a game to play then children love it, and this also help them to focus better in their studies. Therefore, gamification plays an important role in children's learning and development.

In conclusion, despite focusing too much on formal learning, every school should focus on practical education which leads to better understanding and application for the students. Also, learning with play for children makes them interesting, and they are able to pay more attention. This ways will definitely helps children to be a successful person in their career.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you explain that play and practical activities can improve interest and concentration. This addresses both questions, with relevant examples such as practical science work and games after a lesson. However, the two main ideas are not developed equally: the point about formal lessons making pupils disengage is explained, while the benefits of play are mostly asserted rather than illustrated in detail. The conclusion also introduces “practical education” without clearly distinguishing it from play-based learning. To strengthen the response, explain how a specific classroom activity supports learning, and clarify how much formal instruction you believe should remain. The stated length requirement is met; 10 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present contrasting points, and a conclusion restates your position. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “As a result” help readers follow the progression. This organisation is effective, and the main ideas are generally easy to identify. To make the cohesion more flexible and precise, avoid relying on formulaic transitions and make links between claims explicit. For example, “this productive balance” in the introduction is not fully explained until later, while “This ways” in the conclusion does not clearly refer to one specific approach. Use clearer references and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “practical implementation,” “overall performance,” and “gamification.” These choices show an attempt to discuss education beyond very basic terms. However, several word-choice and collocation errors make the expression less natural, such as “feel boring” where you mean that pupils become bored, and “makes them interesting” where you mean that learning interests them. “Present to the classroom” is also an awkward phrase, and “focus” is repeated often. Build a more precise range by learning common education-related collocations and checking word forms. More accurate phrasing would make your ideas clearer and help you express distinctions between practical learning, play, and formal instruction.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if schools paid attention … then students will not be present” and clauses beginning with “because” and “which.” This gives the response some variety, and the overall meaning remains understandable. Some errors in agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction persist. For example, “the focus … have increased” should use a singular verb, “this also help them” needs agreement, and “This ways will definitely helps” contains errors in both the demonstrative and verb form. The conditional sentence also shifts from “paid” to “will not,” so keep the tense pattern consistent. Review subject–verb agreement and conditional forms, then proofread each sentence for accurate endings.

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