Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argue that, most of the primary schools focus too much on formal learning and ignore the importance of extra- curriculum activities like sports. I firmly believe that education plays an important role in children's success and career prospects, but we also can't neglect the benefits of playing different kinds of sports in primary schools.

Playing sports and participating in different games help students to improve their decision making skills and also improves the critical and independent thinking as well, because while playing sports you need to take important decisions in many difficult situations as well. This decision making skill plays an important role in improving team management and leadership quality as well, which is helpful in long run as well. As most of the jobs and roles are looking for a person with good leadership quality and who is able to work in groups.

Another positive aspect of playing different sports is related to fitness and health. Sports also help to keep our body fit as there is constant involvement of physical movements. A good health is necessary to reduce long term health risks. Playing sports don't only help to keep the body physically fit, but also improves mental health as well. As sports classes can help the students to reduce stress caused by the excessive pressure from studies, which also improves their independent thinking and helpful for the change which can result in focusing in their studies better.

To conclude this, I believe that it is very important for children to play in school along with the regular teachings as sports play a significant part in building and improving various kind of skills. All these skills and learnings can't be teacher through formal lessons in classrooms. It is also helpful in improving the mental and physical health as well.

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you support combining formal education with play, and you give relevant reasons, especially sports’ contribution to health, leadership and decision-making. The response addresses both the value of learning and the importance of play, with the health paragraph offering a useful explanation of how activity may reduce study-related stress. This meets the task well, but the two parts are not equally developed: the discussion focuses almost entirely on sports, while the question asks more broadly about play in the classroom, and the benefits of formal learning are asserted rather than explained. The examples also remain general. To strengthen the response further, explain how classroom games or other forms of play support learning, and develop one specific example showing this in practice. The eight words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate benefits, and the conclusion restates your position. The progression from decision-making and teamwork to physical and mental health is logical, and phrases such as “Another positive aspect” help signal the shift. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or repetitive: “as well” appears repeatedly, and several sentences begin with “As,” including a fragment-like sentence in the health paragraph. Some links between claims are also unclear, particularly the move from reduced stress to “independent thinking” and better study focus. Use a wider range of linking methods, make cause-and-effect relationships explicit, and ensure each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “decision making skills,” “leadership,” “physical movements,” “mental health” and “health risks.” These choices make your main points understandable and show an attempt to discuss the topic beyond basic terms. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “extra- curriculum activities,” “team management,” and “a good health.” Repeated use of “important,” “help” and “as well” also limits flexibility. Some phrases, including “the change which can result in focusing in their studies better,” are difficult to interpret because the wording is not idiomatic. Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated verbs; for example, describe how sport “develops teamwork” or “supports concentration” rather than relying on “help.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, using clauses with “because,” “as” and “which,” and your overall meaning is generally clear. However, some errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “Playing sports … help students … and also improves” shifts incorrectly between plural and singular verbs; “Playing sports don’t only help” should use a singular verb form for the gerund subject. “A good health” has an unnecessary article, while “All these skills and learnings can’t be teacher” contains an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “As sports classes can help…” is also not a complete sentence in this context. Review subject–verb agreement and check that dependent clauses are attached to complete sentences; this would improve control while preserving your range.

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