Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that primary schools majorily focus on conventional learning. This essay strongly agrees with this view and will argue why I believe it is more important for children to play as well as learn in their classroom.

I strongly agree that primary schools focus majorily on conventional learning techniques. Most schools around the world follow teaching timetables with a short break of 15 to 30 minutes between the school hours, while the rest of the time is strictly dedicated to teaching and learning from books and other conventional sources. This is largely because, most parents evaluate schools by the amount of classroom learning time and the school's focus on books knowledge transfer. For example, a study by private school association of Islamabad, Pakistan reveals that the difficulty to switching from conventional to modern teaching and learning approaches is the mindset of majority of children's mindset.

It is equally important for primary school children to learn, play and have fun with their classmates inside their classrooms. This will raise their attachment with their schools and enhance their learning efficiency. Most primary school students find their schools boring becasue of longer hours of uninterrupted study, subject after subject with one break in the whole day. It is therefore, most juveniles do not like going to school. Secondly, minors have a short focus span. Most lost their focus after a short time of study and therefore further teaching does not result into more learning. By allowing them to play inside classroom, they could regain energy and focus and therefore make the learning more effective.

In conclusion, schools focus much on classical learning. Allowing children to play inside classroom could make the learning effective and children interest in their school would raise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that primary schools emphasise formal learning, and you also explain why play should be included. The response addresses both questions, with relevant reasons such as parents valuing classroom instruction and children losing focus during long periods of study. The explanation that play can restore energy and improve learning is particularly pertinent. However, the first body paragraph relies heavily on broad claims about schools and parents, and the Islamabad study is mentioned without explaining its findings in enough detail. The importance of play is more fully explained than the extent of the problem, so some ideas remain underdeveloped. To strengthen the response, support each main claim with a more specific example and develop the evidence rather than simply referring to a study.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two main points, and a conclusion. The progression from formal teaching to the benefits of classroom play is easy to follow, and signposts such as “For example,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. However, some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “therefore,” and the relationship between ideas is occasionally unclear. For instance, “It is therefore, most juveniles do not like going to school” does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence. The conclusion also repeats the main points without clearly summarising how they answer both questions. Use a wider range of natural transitions and make references between sentences more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “conventional learning,” “teaching timetables,” “learning efficiency,” and “focus span.” These choices make the subject clear, and some attempts at more formal language are evident. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “books knowledge transfer,” “attachment with their schools,” and “the difficulty to switching.” There are also spelling errors, including “majorily” and “becasue,” which reduce accuracy. Some terms, such as “juveniles” and “minors,” sound overly formal or unsuitable when referring to primary-school children. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling; using simpler, accurate expressions will be more effective than choosing an awkwardly formal alternative.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including explanations with “because” and cause-and-effect structures with “therefore.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors make sentences awkward or unclear. For example, “the difficulty to switching” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “the mindset of majority of children's mindset” contains a faulty and repeated construction. In “Most lost their focus,” the subject is unclear and the verb form does not fit the intended meaning. There are also issues with articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “It is therefore, most juveniles…” and “children interest.” To improve, check sentence patterns and subject–verb relationships, and revise each sentence for a clear subject and a complete, correctly linked clause.

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