Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, primary schools are more focus on subject learning rather then activities, because the parents are hunting for the results more then children's growth and physical activies.

First and foremost, the primary schools should encourage children to play with study, because including activies can show better results in both physical and mental health and they can concentrate more on studies. For an instance if the primary school introduces study with activity such as, dancing on alphabetic songs then can learn the alphabets as well as they will do the activity and their brain doesn't take stress of reading and feeling it diffcult.

Secondly, the classes like 3-5 should introduces the classrooms with more creativity and periods should be divided with invervals class like story-telling, hobbies, dacing and karate, because of this classes the develops the ideas with creativity and have a nice impact on physical growth, because this age is crucial role in their lives.

I agree with the context, because every school are going behand the scores and not taking a good care of children's mental health. Schools and some parents are not understanding the consequences that children should face in the future.

In conclusion, formal learning is good for some extent after, formal learning should be implemented after primary school, because the vital growth takes place in primary classes the brain stimulates and express what they have learned in the school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions by agreeing that schools place too much emphasis on formal study and arguing that play supports children’s physical and mental development. The examples of learning through alphabet songs and adding storytelling or karate make your position relevant to the task. However, the ideas are only partly developed: the claim that activity improves concentration is not explained, and the final point about formal learning being implemented after primary school is unclear and does not fully match your earlier argument for combining play and study. The response also contains 233 words, below the required 250, so it has limited space to develop its reasons and examples. Clarify your position and explain each example’s relevance more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two supporting paragraphs, a statement of agreement and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of your argument. However, progression is not consistently clear: the paragraph beginning “I agree with the context” repeats the position without adding a developed reason, while the conclusion introduces the unclear idea that formal learning should begin after primary school. Some links are awkward or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “because,” and the long example sentence is difficult to follow. Give each paragraph a distinct purpose and use clearer links between claims, explanations and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “physical and mental health,” “concentrate,” “creativity” and “consequences.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning less clear. For example, “parents are hunting for the results” is not a natural way to describe pressure for academic achievement, and “introduces the classrooms with more creativity” is unclear. There are also spelling errors such as “activies,” “diffcult” and “behand.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully; this will make your argument easier to understand and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses with “because” and “such as,” but complex sentences are often faulty and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “primary schools are more focus” and “the classes like 3-5 should introduces,” where the verb forms do not agree with the subjects. In “then can learn the alphabets,” the sentence lacks a clear subject, and “every school are” has an agreement error. Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries also need attention; for instance, the long sentence about alphabet songs would be clearer if divided into shorter sentences. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences from clear, complete clauses.

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