Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, many people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I disagree with that opinion, for schools evolve with the effective learning discoveries and the technological advancements.

A primary school's job is to guide students through their learning path. New researches are being published about effective learning, which lighlights the importance of discipline and habits on formal learning at a young age. This discipline teaches children to build a proper system and manage their time. Primary schools identifies the most effective techniques from these researches to apply with the children. This guides the children to reach their full potential.

In the digital world of artificial intelligence, a vast amount of knowledge moves quickly. This change demands us to adapt in the way we learn and process information. Therefore, primary schools focus on the new knowledge and shape the way we learn from a young age. People might view that as too much of formal learning, but they are just comparing their old fashion learning style in the new world.

Some people argue that playing is important for children. I believe that to some extent. Playing gives students room to explore, create, and socialize.In term of biology, playing may relieve stress of studying and regulate horomones. However, playing should not occupy most of the child's time as learning is as important, allowing the student to think critically and face mental obstacles.

In conclusion, although some believe primary schools focus to much on learning, I disagree as schools evolve to keepup with the changing world. However, that shift in schooling system should not disregarding the important of playing on children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, while recognising that play has value. You address both questions and give relevant reasons, including discipline, adapting to technological change, and play’s role in exploration and socialising. However, the support is uneven. The claims that research highlights discipline and that schools must respond to AI are broad and would be more convincing with a specific classroom example or clearer explanation of how formal learning benefits young pupils. You also state that play should not take up most of a child’s time without explaining what balance would be appropriate. Develop these points more fully and connect them directly to primary-school children’s needs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your position, the body paragraphs present reasons, and the conclusion restates your view. Paragraphing generally helps the reader follow the shift from formal learning to play. Linking expressions such as “Therefore,” “However,” and “In conclusion” make the relationships between ideas clear, although the transitions can feel mechanical. Some connections are also under-explained: the move from technological change to the claim that schools are not overemphasising formal learning needs a clearer logical bridge. In the play paragraph, the ideas about socialising, stress, hormones, and critical thinking arrive quickly. Group related points and explain how they support your argument to create smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “discipline,” “manage their time,” “explore,” “socialize,” and “think critically.” These choices communicate your main ideas, and you attempt more specific language such as “technological advancements” and “mental obstacles.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, however, including “effective learning discoveries,” “old fashion learning style,” and “regulate horomones.” There are also spelling errors such as “lighlights” and “keepup.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and control. Aim to use familiar collocations accurately, check spelling carefully, and choose precise terms rather than abstract phrases whose meaning is unclear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including subordinate clauses in “although some believe…” and “as learning is as important,” and most sentences remain understandable. Some grammatical errors persist in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “Primary schools identifies” should have a plural verb, while “should not disregarding” needs a different verb form, such as “should not disregard.” The phrase “I believe that to some extent” is incomplete without a clear reference, and “socialize.In term” needs punctuation and a grammatical phrase such as “In terms of.” These errors rarely obscure your meaning, but proofreading for agreement, complete clauses, and punctuation would improve accuracy while preserving your range of sentence structures.

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