Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people agrees with the arguement that primary school focuses too much on formal learning. I agree with this arguement as well. I this this is true that primary school don't focuses on natural development of the students and havily relies on academic and formal learning more.

I this for the students of this age they need to play as well as learn in the school together and this is very important method for students. Students of primary school are mostly between age 7 to 12. This is the development stage for the brain of student this age. Formal learning can't contribute enough in the development of a childs brain. They need to be involved in different kind of activities to develop their brain naturally.

In most of the primary school they only relies on study books. They want students to memorize the topics from the books to write them in the exam. In Most of the schools curriculam playing in the classroom is not included. They practice decipline and everything and stay strict with the students. So student don't get chances to do other activities necessary for their development.

As an example I studied in a government primary school in bangladesh. The teachers in my school was strict and we had to maintain decipline in the classroom. We didn't got enough room to play or for other activities. So we played in the lunch break on the school playground. Our school organizes a sports day once a year. I think that't not enough for student that age.

Overall, Formal strict learning is not ideal for a primary school student. They need diverse curriculam to grow physically and mentally. So primary schools curriculam must need to be more improved and unified.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much emphasis to formal learning, and you address both the value of play and the effects of a strict, book-based approach. The Bangladesh school example also gives the response relevant personal support. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, you say formal learning cannot contribute enough to brain development, but do not explain how particular kinds of play support learning or development. The discussion of curriculum improvement is also broad. To strengthen the response, develop one or two reasons with specific classroom examples and explain more directly how play and formal learning can be balanced. The response addresses the task, though some ideas are less fully developed than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs on children’s needs and school practices, a personal example, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your main position. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes loose, and links between ideas can feel mechanical. For example, “So” is used to introduce consequences in several places, while “In most of the primary school” begins a new point without a clear connection to the previous paragraph. Some references are also unclear, such as “this is the development stage” and “that age.” Use more precise linking and refer back to specific ideas or groups of children. Organising each body paragraph around one clear reason, followed by explanation and an example, would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “development,” “activities,” “curriculum,” and “discipline,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice or spelling errors make the writing less precise. Examples include “natural development,” “diverse curriculum,” and “unified,” which do not clearly express the specific changes you want schools to make. There are also repeated forms such as “students” and “school,” and misspellings including “arguement,” “havily,” and “decipline.” Aim to use more precise education-related phrases and check spelling and collocations. For example, explain whether you mean a balanced curriculum, structured play, or practical learning rather than relying on broad terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate your main ideas using both short statements and some longer sentences, such as “They need to be involved in different kind of activities to develop their brain naturally.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur throughout. Examples include “Some people agrees,” “primary school don't focuses,” and “The teachers in my school was strict.” The sentence beginning “I this for the students” is difficult to interpret because its structure is incomplete. These errors sometimes make the reader pause, even though the overall meaning can usually be recovered. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences from a clear main clause, checking each sentence for a complete subject and verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.