Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, primary schools focus too much on the rote system. Some people argues that primary school focus too much on the textbook learning. In my opinion, peoples' concerns are valid, primary school gives alot of attention to formal learning these days.

In the modern world, it is important for the schools to understand the need for extracircullar activities for students. These activities are necessary for their physical and mental growth. School should arrange weekly sports days for the students. It will help refresh the their mind and their overall academic performance may improve. For example, the children can use the sports period to run around, or play the games they love in this way they will feel happy and more relaxed. A relax mind will help them study properly. They can learn their lesson quickly if their brain is relaxed.The schools should also introduced more playful and advance methods for student to learn rather than only focusing on the classroon lectures. For example, they can show students interesting films and documentary related to their course.

However, schools should always try to create a healthy balance between learning and playtime. Students should be aware of the fact that their studies should always comes first. Students can play during the sport period but during the lectures their utmost attention should be involved in the class.Schools and parents should moniter the children with a proper coordination. For example, in the era of the social media it is also necessary for parents to supervise their child screentime while maintaining healthy balance ensuring their study is not compromised.

In conclusion, i strongly believe that along with study the playtime is important for a children proper growth and mental development, but there should be healthy balance between studying and playing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis and argue that play supports children’s physical and mental development. You address both questions by recommending sports periods and playful teaching methods, then explaining that study and play should be balanced. The examples of running, games, and educational films are relevant. This meets the task well, but some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that a relaxed mind helps children learn quickly could be developed by explaining how play improves attention or memory. The discussion of parental supervision and screen time is less directly connected to classroom play, so a more focused explanation of how classroom activities should be balanced would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting play, a contrasting paragraph about prioritising study, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages of the argument. The ideas generally progress logically within paragraphs, particularly from sports to relaxation and learning. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The shift from classroom balance to parents monitoring social-media screen time feels abrupt, and several sentences run together without adequate punctuation, such as the transition from “relaxed” to “The schools.” Clearer links between examples and the central classroom question, along with more careful sentence separation, would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “physical and mental growth,” “academic performance,” and “healthy balance.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “documentary” and “supervise.” However, the range is uneven, and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make the writing less natural. Examples include “rote system” where “rote learning” is more idiomatic, “extracircullar” for “extracurricular,” and “a relax mind” for “a relaxed mind.” Phrases such as “utmost attention should be involved” are also awkward. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms so your ideas sound more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “if,” “while,” and “rather than,” and your meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction occur often enough to limit accuracy. For example, “Some people argues” should be “Some people argue,” and “their studies should always comes first” should be “their studies should always come first.” Other examples include “for a children proper growth” and “Schools should also introduced,” which need corrected article and verb patterns. Punctuation also needs attention: “class.” runs directly into “Schools,” and the sentence beginning “For example” contains several ideas that would be clearer if separated. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject, correctly formed verb, and complete punctuation.

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