Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people think that primary schools put a lot of focus on formal education, while I agree with this because educational institutions are forced to do this in our current system as the syllabus and structure needs to be updated by the higher authorities. I also think it's very important for children to play along with learning in classroom as it helps in mind development.

The primary reason, for schools mostly paying attention to formal education is because it starts with school life and ends with university. For example, if a school lacks focus on fixed eduaction of subjects students will struggle to perform good later in college and university as the sylllabus there is more demanding and difficult. Governments should revise the framework and create a balance because only that way schools will be able to shift focus.

It's very beneficial for children to play in classrooms as it helps in developing ideas, strategies and learning social skills. For instance, teachers should make students debate on a topic by creating teams or give them freedom to paint their ideas that could be aything on a blank paper. Additionally, schools can have seperate period for games and classes like learning music or a piano. These sort of activities help student find passion in other subjects and is good for their mental health.

Although I agree with people that schools only focus on formal education but it's not on their hands until a change from authorities is imposed. At the same time i think childern's should be allowed to play and learn as it helps in developing skills which are important part of human life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both questions and maintain a clear position: you agree that schools emphasise formal education and consider play alongside learning important. The response gives relevant reasons, including preparation for later study, social skills, creativity and mental health, with examples such as classroom debates and painting. This meets the task well, and the examples show some development beyond simply stating opinions. However, the explanation that schools cannot change their focus until authorities revise the system is asserted rather than fully supported, and the link between formal learning and success at university is somewhat general. To strengthen the response further, explain how a balanced curriculum could preserve academic progress while giving children meaningful opportunities to play and learn through activities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal education and play, and a concluding restatement of your view. Ideas generally progress in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “Additionally,” and “Although” help guide the reader. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening sentence combines your agreement with an explanation about authorities and the syllabus, making the central point difficult to follow. In the final paragraph, “Although I agree … but” creates an awkward relationship between ideas, and “At the same time” does not clearly show how the two points relate. Use more precise transitions and make each paragraph’s main claim explicit before adding examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for education and child development, including “formal education,” “syllabus,” “social skills,” “mental health,” and “framework.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some phrases show an attempt to be specific. However, word choice and collocation are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive: “perform good” is not idiomatic, “fixed education of subjects” is unclear, and “play along with learning” does not express the intended idea naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “eduaction,” “sylllabus,” “seperate,” and “childern’s.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “perform well academically” and “a balanced curriculum,” and proofread spelling carefully to make your meaning more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and subordinate clauses, as in “if a school lacks focus … students will struggle” and “as it helps in developing ideas.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “the syllabus and structure needs” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “Although I agree … but” incorrectly combines two contrasting structures. The sentence beginning “The primary reason, for schools mostly paying attention…” is also awkwardly constructed, and “children’s should” uses an incorrect possessive form. Work on agreement, clause construction and sentence boundaries, and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb. More accurate control of these structures would make your argument easier to read.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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