Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, the issue of primary schools focus excessively on formal learning instead of play based activities has attracted considerable attention worldwide. While some people view this trend as significant and other raise concern about its implication.This essay will address the two key questions by examine to what extent you agree that this focus is excessive and then discussing how important it is for children to play as well as learn.

There are sveral compelling reasons, I strongly believe that primary school focus too much on formal learning. One major factor is academic pressure on children from very young age, which often leads to stress, loss of creativity and disinterest in education. Another contributing element is the neglect of natural childhood development as it enable or encourage rigid classroom environment that affect the social, personal and emotional growth of children. Concequently, these factors explain why this issue has become increasingly important.

Regarding the second question it can be argued that play is extremely important part of primary school education. On the other hand, learning through play fosters cognotive and social skills demonstrates clear benefits like teamwork, communication skills and game improves problem solving. On the other hand, there are several limitiations like teacher face difficulty to manage play bassed lessons. Nevertheless, the overall advantages outweight the drawbacks in most cases.

In conclusion, excessive focus on formal learning explain the rise of this issue while role of play in the development highlight its broader implication. Careful management and awarenss can help maximize the benefits while minimising any potential disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and state a clear view that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning. You also identify relevant effects, including stress, reduced creativity and weaker social and emotional development, and explain that play can build teamwork and problem-solving. However, these points are mostly asserted rather than developed with specific explanation or an example, and the discussion of difficulties managing play-based lessons is brief. The conclusion repeats the general position but does not add a developed final judgement. The response contains 249 words, so it is one word below the required minimum; the 10 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop each main point with a clear explanation or relevant example, especially when discussing the value of play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing the questions, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking phrases are not always used accurately. For example, “On the other hand” appears twice in the paragraph about play, although the second point about limitations does not form a clear contrast with the first. The introduction also promises to “address the two key questions” but the body does not consistently develop the promised discussion. Improve the logical links between claims and explanations, and use transitions only when their relationship—such as contrast or result—is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “academic pressure,” “creativity,” “emotional growth,” “cognitive and social skills,” and “potential disadvantages.” These choices help communicate the main ideas. However, the range is not controlled consistently: spelling errors such as “sveral,” “Concequently,” “cognotive,” and “limitiations” are noticeable, while phrases such as “play bassed lessons” and “game improves problem solving” are awkward or unclear. Some wording is also imprecise, including “significant” for describing a viewpoint and “broader implication” in the conclusion. Check spelling carefully and choose natural collocations; precise phrasing will make your argument easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “academic pressure … which often leads to stress” and a longer sentence beginning “Another contributing element is…”. However, errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include missing or incorrect articles and agreement in “primary school focus too much” and “play is extremely important part,” as well as the faulty construction “as it enable or encourage … environment that affect.” The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure after “the issue of.” Punctuation is inconsistent, notably the missing space after “implication.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete clause structures before adding more complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.