Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people believe that primary schools focus too much on traditional learning. I concur that they focus on teaching educational books that negatively influence their learning abilities in the future. I think it is compulsory for the children to play as well as learning because physical actvities not only make a child mentally strong but also makes them physically strong.

On the one hand, according to the believe of some people schools entirely focus on teaching them physics, biology, mathematics and computer etc. In recent years, many educational sectors started competition among them, now they just focus on grades of the students. Particulary, they do not only enforce their students to learn the coursework but also introduce competition among them. Consequently, pupils started the cramming to obtain higher grades and they do not have the conceptual knowledge of the subject. Eventually, it leads to achieve better educational and career opportunities in the future.

On the other hand, I think it is very crucial for a children to play games in school because they help them to become stronger mentally and physically. By playing games with the other classmates they learn how to accept defeat and to enjoy winning moments. It can be seen that in many cases when children of same age are playing, sometimes they started a fight over the win or loss but guidance of the teacher in the classroom helps them to learn patience and resilience. These qualities help them in the future. Moreover, knowledge of educational books is also important for them to live a better life. I think schools need to make a balance schedule where they make balance among studies and extracurricular activities.

In conclusion, many people think that primary schools focus on formal learning which affects the childs' ability to understand basic understanding of concepts, while I think school need to maintain balance between studies and extracurriculum activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning can be overemphasised and argue that play should accompany classroom learning. You address both parts of the prompt, explaining that competition and cramming may weaken conceptual understanding, and that games can build resilience and physical and mental strength. These are relevant points, but some are not fully developed. For example, the claim that cramming leads to better educational and career opportunities is not clearly connected to your concern about its effects. The importance of play is supported with a classroom example, while the balance between learning and play is stated mainly as a recommendation. Explain more precisely how schools should achieve that balance and why it benefits children’s learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from concerns about academic competition to the benefits of play, and linking expressions such as “Consequently” and “Moreover” help show relationships. However, some connections are unclear or mechanical. In the first body paragraph, the move from cramming and limited conceptual knowledge to “better educational and career opportunities” seems to contradict the preceding point. The conclusion also repeats the main position without clearly synthesising the reasons. Make each paragraph’s central claim explicit and use references and transitions that clarify how each supporting point relates to it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “conceptual knowledge,” “resilience,” “extracurricular activities,” and “competition,” which allows you to discuss both academic and social development. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “educational sectors” and “maintain balance.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the intended meaning less precise: “teaching educational books,” “started the cramming,” and “balance schedule” are examples. Spelling and word-form slips such as “Particulary,” “actvities,” and “extracurriculum” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations such as “focus on academic subjects,” “resort to rote learning,” and “create a balanced timetable,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “while,” and “when.” Most of the message remains understandable, and the example about children reacting to winning and losing is developed through a longer sentence. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with agreement, articles, and verb forms. For instance, “a children” should be “children” or “a child,” and “they started a fight” would fit the general present-tense discussion better as “they start a fight.” In “physical activities … makes,” the subject and verb do not agree; use “make.” The final sentence also has an unclear construction around “the childs’ ability to understand basic understanding.” Practise checking each sentence’s subject, verb, and intended meaning.

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