Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that primary school give too much importance to academic studies and enough time to playing activities. Different personalities have different opinions, but i totally agree with this statement, because learning is important for students but children also need time to play.

First of all, formal learning is important for young children because it help them to develop basic academic skills. In primary school, they learn important subject such as english, mathematics and science. For example, mathematics helps children solve problems. Formal education is important because it help people build better future and become a successful person in society. Formal education is improve children's writing skills. Moreover, it help them logical thinking, these skills prepare the students for higher education. As a result, they can build a strong foundation for their future education.

On other hand, playing is equally important for children in primary school. Firstly, children can play games and other sports help children active and more healthy. Moreover, children can play with other children they can teaches a teamwork, communication and copperation with others. For example, when childrens play football, together they learn how to coaching as a captain. However, educational games can make learning more intrested. Therefore, schools should provide for both studying and playing activities.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with this statement because some time primary schools focus too much on education, although learning is necessary but playing games and other sports is also important for students, they can improve for children's physical and mental health. In my opinion, schools should maintain a balance between studying and playing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools can overemphasise formal study, while also recognising that learning matters. You address both parts of the prompt by explaining the value of academic foundations and the benefits of play, including health and teamwork. These relevant points support the response well. However, the discussion is uneven: the academic paragraph repeats the importance of education and gives limited explanation of how schools focus on it too much, while the play paragraph offers more specific benefits. The football example is also unclear in its explanation of what children learn. To strengthen the response further, explain more directly what an appropriate balance looks like and develop each example so its connection to your position is explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for formal learning and play, and a conclusion that restates your position. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “On other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. Within paragraphs, however, connections are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “Moreover, it help them logical thinking” does not clearly connect the benefit to the previous sentence, and the football example moves abruptly from playing together to “coaching as a captain.” Some sentences also run ideas together, particularly in the paragraph about play. Use clearer sentence boundaries and link each example explicitly to the point it supports; this would make progression smoother and cohesion less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “academic skills,” “teamwork,” and “physical and mental health.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make expression less precise. Examples include “copperation,” “intrested,” and “make learning more intrested,” where the intended meaning is not expressed naturally. Repetition of “important,” “children,” and “play” also limits flexibility. Aim to use accurate phrases for the benefits of play and education, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain ideas without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For instance, “primary school give” and “it help” have subject–verb agreement problems, while “children can play games and other sports help children active” combines clauses without a clear grammatical structure. The sentence beginning “Formal education is improve” also uses an incorrect verb form. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, and check agreement and verb forms during editing. Greater control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to read.

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