Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent days, few individuals argue that primary schools should more focus on formal education. Although conventional learning is more important for children's better schooling and career, play is also vital for students mental and physical health as well as, for personality building. This essay will discuss why these views are important.

To begin with, proper education at primary level is paramount for students better learning for their middle and secondary education. For example, if kids get more knowledge at early stage of life they can excellent perform on their next level education. Secondly, regular education gives to children good career opportunity. For instance, they would be learn more to get jobs for their future and also it is important for today competitive world.

On the other hand, plays and informal education are play a vital role for their mental and physical health. For instance, plays makes children to relaxed and also gives chance to teaches leaderships and teamwork, to play with others they can learn about patience. Finally, personality building also an important factor for children future and participating in plays they can improve their personality. For example, if students takes part in other activities at early age and win these games thay can be proud themselves and motivate.

To conclude, formal education have a lot of benefits but other activities at primary education level gives a chance children to build their personality. I believe that normal learning is important for children future growth and career also plays important factor for their confidence and personality grooming.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and maintain a generally clear position: formal learning supports later education and careers, while play benefits health and personal development. Relevant examples include teamwork, patience and confidence gained through games. However, the response does not directly establish whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning; it mainly explains why both types of activity matter. The career point is also less developed than the discussion of play, and claims such as children performing excellently at later levels or gaining jobs need clearer explanation. State your degree of agreement explicitly and develop each reason with a specific explanation or example to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for formal learning and play, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the main stages, and the ideas generally progress in a sensible order. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the clearer progression associated with a stronger performance. However, the linking is somewhat mechanical, with several points introduced in the same way, and some connections within sentences are unclear—for example, “Finally, personality building also an important factor” does not smoothly connect the point to its support. Use more varied links and make relationships between claims and examples explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal education,” “teamwork,” “patience,” “personality,” and “confidence,” so the main ideas are understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “competitive world” and “personality building.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural: “more focus on formal education,” “gives to children good career opportunity,” and “personality grooming” do not express the ideas idiomatically. Some word forms and spelling are also unreliable, as in “leaderships” and “thay.” These errors make the vocabulary less precise, though the intended meaning is usually recoverable. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction (“Although…”) and conditional structures such as “if kids get more knowledge…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur across verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction. Examples include “plays and informal education are play,” “they would be learn,” and “personality building also an important factor.” The sentence beginning “For instance, plays makes children…” also contains several grammatical problems that obscure the intended structure. These patterns show why greater accuracy is needed, particularly when attempting longer sentences. Practise forming complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement and verb patterns before adding more complex structures.

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