Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It has been observed that schools are foucsing on formal education without encluding other activities. Although some individuals believe that it is extremely necessary for children to have a beneficial education system. I completely disagree the given statement to a large extent. My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs and relevant examples.

The foremost argument to justify my stand is that children require to do physical activities as well as studying in classes, because children in that age should build their bodies and retain healthy. In addition playing games with their classmates assist them to build their communication skills,to be more specific games in classrooms can enhance their brain and facilitate their memory to score good marks in mathematics and other subjects, for instance playing buzzels or a game called find the right answer.

Furthermore,the other reason to prove my point is that engageing children to do physical activites such as running or swimming help to be more confidence with dealing with others. It is also feasible to say governement most implement some regulation to build for the primary school student facilities to play and schudle a time for study lessons and time to do activities, it is an effective approach to make children thrive the society in the near future.

To conclude the discussion, it can be said that despite of some individuals believe that formal learning is the key, however my reasons such as engagement in physical activites and open facilities for children to paly, also offer some educational games are logically acceptable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you explain that play supports physical health, communication and memory. You also address the importance of play alongside lessons, with examples such as classroom games and running or swimming. However, the response only partly develops the task. The opening sentence suggests schools exclude other activities, but the essay does not clearly explain how much formal learning is appropriate or directly weigh it against play. Some claims, such as games helping pupils score well in mathematics, need a clearer explanation or a specific example. Develop each main reason further and make your position on both questions explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “The foremost argument” and “Furthermore” help signal the main points, and the ideas generally relate to the central view. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the second body paragraph moves from confidence to government regulations and then to children thriving in society without clearly connecting these points. Some linking expressions are also awkward or repetitive, and the conclusion’s “despite … however” construction makes the relationship between ideas unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, explain it in a logical sequence, and use simpler, more precise transitions and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “physical activities,” “communication skills,” “facilitate their memory” and “regulation.” This gives you some means of expressing the main ideas, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the message harder to understand. For example, “retain healthy,” “more confidence with dealing with others” and “thrive the society” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Spelling errors such as “foucsing,” “encluding” and “schudle” are also noticeable. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling; prefer clear, natural phrasing over ambitious expressions that do not fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “although” and “such as,” and the reader can usually identify your main point. However, the range is limited, and complex constructions are often faulty. For example, “Although some individuals believe…” is left as an incomplete sentence, while “I completely disagree the given statement” lacks the required grammatical pattern. There are also errors in agreement and verb forms, as in “games … assist them” and “running or swimming … help,” as well as problems with articles and sentence boundaries. These recurring errors can make parts of the response difficult to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a complete main clause.

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