Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals believe that education in primary schools concentrate too much on formal learning. I strongly agree with this view because structured learning can only improve grades of the students but it is also essential for primary schools to drew their students attenetion on playing.

Formal learning includes structured, intentional education or training delivered in an organized environment with defined goals, a fixed curriculum, and trained instructors. Primary schools main goal is to give bright students to their nation so they give similiar importance to each subject, math or science, conduct exams each year with similiar timetable and instruct students to focus on provided textbooks and workbooks. Social studies, for instance, was a subject when i was perceiving my primary education and my school provided numerous textbooks, 10 chapters in each, trying to cover entire history of my nation and their objective was to ensure that all students had knowledge of ancient times.

Formal learning is good until school provides some amount of time to let the children play, explore different kind of activities, indoor and outdoor, because it assist them to remain healthy and improves concentration in study. Playing games in the classroom with friends and teachers strengthens friendships among students and helps build stronger bonds between students and teachers. For example, group game, activity or solving puzzle in group enhances creativity and improves communication. Educators can also teach some sort of skills while playing with them which is the best way of teaching.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the people's opinion about primary schools being more attentive on formal learning and it is also vital for children to play as well as learn while perceiving primary education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you strongly agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you also address the importance of play. The response stays relevant and gives supporting examples, including your experience of studying social studies and the benefits of group games and puzzles. This covers both parts of the question and shows some development beyond simply stating an opinion. However, the first body paragraph mainly describes formal schooling rather than explaining in detail why its emphasis is excessive, and the conclusion repeats the position without adding a final insight. To strengthen the response further, explain the consequences of an overly academic focus and develop the balance between learning and play more fully. (Eight words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph on formal learning, one on play, and a conclusion. The progression from describing academic instruction to explaining the benefits of play is easy to follow, and examples generally appear in the relevant paragraphs. Some connections, however, are mechanical or unclear. The opening of the second body paragraph, “Formal learning is good until school provides some amount of time,” does not express the contrast smoothly, while “because it assist them” has an unclear reference. The conclusion also repeats the introduction rather than drawing the main points together. Use clearer transitions and refer explicitly to children, schools, or play when needed; this would make the links between ideas more precise and natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “structured learning,” “fixed curriculum,” “concentration,” “creativity,” and “communication.” These choices help explain both formal education and the value of play. However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “drew their students attenetion,” “similiar importance,” and “perceiving my primary education” are awkward or inaccurate. Some phrases, such as “give bright students to their nation,” also make the intended meaning difficult to identify. Aim for natural combinations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions for the school’s aims and for your own educational experience would make the vocabulary more flexible and clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “a subject when I was perceiving my primary education” and a conditional structure beginning “Formal learning is good until…”. The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “education in primary schools concentrate” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “it assist them” also needs agreement. There are issues with infinitive forms and sentence construction in “to drew their students…” and “Primary schools main goal is to give…”. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly with “i” and sentence boundaries. Review agreement, verb forms, and sentence patterns, while continuing to practise complex structures.

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