Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Formal education plays a crucial role in children's development.However many argue that primary schools are focousing more on it.I agree with them because I believe focusing on play and other practical activities are better way of motivating children other than formal learning.Academic learning is also important ,but practical activities like sports are more beneficial.

Play is one of the most influencial way of building cgild's social skills.Different games in classes will motivate students to learn easily and more effectively.The education system of first world countries like germany focuses on practical learning and play in primary schools.This is the reason behind children's better physical and mental health.Teachers in schools should focus on such activities which can built confidence in children other than providing tham with academic knowledge.

On the other hand students should also be given limited and well orgnized knowledge.Academic knowledge is also important to prepare them mentally for their higher studies in future.They mustbhave an idea what they are going to study in future.

From my point of view primary schools should focus more on play such as sports .Primary schools should also focus on teaching students social behaviour.In Japan which is one of the most developed and richest countries in the world ,children in there primary school only learn sbout social life and aticates.

In conclusion,academic knowledge is importance for children in primary schools ,but it does not mean that schools should entirely focus on it.The advantages of play outweigh advantages of formal learning.I think governments should focus on play in primary schools mostly in third world countries .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and maintain a clear overall view: formal learning matters, but primary classrooms should give greater emphasis to play and practical activities. The opening and conclusion make this position easy to identify, and you offer relevant examples, including games, sports and social learning. However, some points are asserted rather than explained. For instance, the claim that practical learning in Germany leads to better physical and mental health needs clearer support, and the reference to Japanese children learning “only” about social life is broad and not clearly connected to classroom play. Your point about preparing pupils for higher studies is relevant but brief. Develop these examples and explain more precisely how play supports learning alongside academic instruction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs presenting the benefits of play and formal learning, your own view, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the argument. Overall, the ideas can be followed, but progression is sometimes uneven: the paragraph about formal knowledge is short, while the later paragraph repeats the preference for play without adding much explanation. Some connections between claims are also abrupt, particularly the move from Germany’s education system to children’s health. Use clearer topic sentences and develop each paragraph around one main point, with explanations that show how each example supports your position. More precise referencing would also help readers follow what “such activities” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “practical activities,” “social skills,” “academic knowledge” and “confidence.” This gives you enough language to communicate your main argument. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make the writing less natural, such as “influencial way,” “better way of motivating,” and “focus more on play.” There are also misspellings such as “focousing,” “orgnized” and “aticates,” which can distract the reader. Aim to use more precise phrases for the relationship between play and learning, and check spelling carefully. Avoid broad or imprecise expressions such as “first world countries” when a more specific description is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrastive opening with “However” and a reason clause beginning “because.” The main meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and punctuation reduce accuracy. For example, “focusing on play and other practical activities are” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “Play is one of the most … way” needs a plural noun after “one of the.” Several sentences also run together because punctuation and spacing are not controlled consistently, as in “development.However.” Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, and use commas and full stops to separate complete ideas. More accurate complex sentences would make your reasoning clearer.

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