Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued by few people that these days primary teaching sectors focus more on academic books. I firmly agree with this view that, youth should take part in curriculmn activites beside their formal education.

Firstly, school is a place where children's brain and its activity start to develop. This is the crucial stage for them to learn, share, play or develop activites. Through the way of playing they will learn to share toys and be friends with everyone, they will also develop their great virtues such as team work, morality, honesty etc. What is more, while doing fun activities they will learn about numbers, alphabets, name of birds and animals which is also a part of academic education.

Moreover, this age is for growing healthy and happy. This is not the right age for getting stressed for academic failure. If they get scold by their parents because of their result their mental growth will be interrupted which can cause further issues for example, post traumatic stress disorder and depression. So it is considered to be beneficial for the learner to take part in other activities.

Though some people believe that, school is a place for learning their academic subjects and playing there can hamper their studies or waste their time. In my perception, Playing in school with classmates can be more effective for child's mental and physical health. Furthermore, it will help them to enhance their moral values.

To wrap up, it is undeniable that, the importance of playing in the classroom with all the classmates in primary school has more advantages than education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary pupils need activities alongside formal education, and you address both the emphasis on academic learning and the value of play. Relevant points include learning to share and cooperate, developing moral qualities, and supporting children’s mental and physical health. However, some claims are asserted rather than explained. For example, the reference to post-traumatic stress disorder and depression after being scolded is a serious consequence but is not supported or carefully connected to the argument. The final claim that play has “more advantages than education” also overstates your position, since the essay argues for balance rather than replacing learning. Develop each main point with a specific example and clarify how play should complement classroom learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, a counterargument and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “Though” help readers follow the main stages of your argument. Overall, the ideas are arranged coherently, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. The first paragraph moves from general development to sharing and then to learning numbers and animal names without fully explaining how these examples support your position. The counterargument is introduced, but its response could be linked more directly to the earlier points. Some punctuation around linking phrases, such as “Though some people believe that,” interrupts the flow. Use clearer topic sentences and make the relationship between each example and your central argument explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal education,” “academic subjects,” “mental and physical health,” and “moral values.” These choices make the topic clear, and attempts such as “interrupted” and “beneficial” show some ambition. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “primary teaching sectors,” “curriculmn activites,” “get scold,” and “enhance their moral values.” Spelling errors such as “curriculmn” and “activites” also reduce accuracy. Some wording is repetitive, particularly references to “activities” and “playing.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling; varying terms such as “play-based learning,” “classroom activities,” and “social development” would make the argument more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “If they get scold by their parents…” and a concession beginning “Though some people believe…”. Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “If they get scold” needs a passive form, and “school is a place where children's brain and its activity start to develop” has problems with agreement and reference. There are also article and punctuation issues, such as the comma after “view that” and the inconsistent capitalisation of “Playing.” Some sentences are long and joined with commas, which makes their structure less controlled. Practise accurate passive forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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