Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is a matter if considerable debate that primary schools focus too much on formal learning nowaday. Although, spme may disagree with this statement, I completely agree with this notion not only because too much homework, pressure for marks and traditional method of teaching but also for less physical activities. This essay will explore how these factors justify my opinion.

To begin with, the predominant reason that compelled me to agree with this statement is modern schools just focus on theory not on extra curricular activities. they gives too much homework and pressuries children for getting marks. To illustrate this, there are many private schools in Gujranwala, who does not focus on any kind of physical activities. they just focus on marks and positions. Thus, this factor can almost single handedly express my view.

Futhermore, the additional compelling point to support my view is that modern schools follows a traditional type of method for teaching children like just sit in the classroom for 5 to 6 hours and listen to teachers. For instance, every school follows a time table of 5 to 6 hours of teaching in which games and sports are not added. Children get board and it also effecting their mental growth. Hence, this factor can clearly justifymy stance.

In addition, another considerable reason is that modern schools does not have sports area or grounds because it requars a lot of money maintain and also expencive therefore, they do not have a period for sports and physical activities.

In conclusion, I comletely agree with this statement not only in term of schools focus too much homework, pressure for marks and position and traditional method of teaching but also for less physical activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you completely agree that primary schools give too much emphasis to formal learning, and you provide relevant reasons, including homework and marks, limited physical activity, and traditional classroom teaching. The examples about private schools in Gujranwala and long periods of listening help connect your view to a context. However, the response only partly addresses the second question: it criticises the lack of games and sports but does not explain directly why play is important alongside learning, such as how it supports social, physical, or cognitive development. The point about schools lacking grounds is also introduced but not developed. Explain these ideas and support them with specific outcomes to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In addition” make the main points easy to identify. However, progression is limited because the body paragraphs largely repeat the same claim that schools prioritise marks and classroom teaching over physical activity. The third body paragraph is especially brief and does not explain how the lack of grounds affects children or connect the point to the importance of play. Some linking phrases, including “Thus, this factor can almost single handedly express my view,” sound formulaic rather than advancing the argument. Develop each paragraph around a distinct idea and use clearer links between claims, examples, and consequences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “extra curricular activities,” “physical activities,” and “traditional type of method.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “predominant reason” and “compelling point.” However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear: “pressuries children,” “children get board,” and “single handedly express my view.” Spelling errors such as “Futhermore,” “requars,” and “expencive” are noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; precise phrases will make your argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession in the introduction (“Although…”) and a reason structure in the conclusion. However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “primary schools focus too much… nowaday,” “they gives too much homework,” “modern schools follows,” and “it also effecting their mental growth.” There are also problems with sentence boundaries and capitalisation, such as beginning sentences with lowercase “they,” and the opening “Although” clause is not correctly connected to the main clause. Practise subject–verb agreement, complete verb forms, and sentence punctuation. Building accurate shorter sentences first will help you use more complex structures reliably.

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