Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Certain individuals contend that primary academic institutions concentrate heavily on formal methods of learning. I partially agree with this statement because several educational institutions have adapt advanced learning methods. I will discuss my agreement and how much play is crucial for primary schools' pupils.

In the bygone era, most of the primary schools used to focus on formal learning. But with the passage of time and technological advancements, formal learning methods are not suitable now. A number of educational institutions realized the advantages of digital tools and importance of extra curriculum activities. Now, in most of the primary academic institutions, students are being taught with the help of technology because learners can easily understand any complex concept and take less time. Moreover, these academic institutions focus more on practical skills that assist students when they enter in the job market. For instance, some primary schools in China have totally eliminated the traditional way of learning from books and now they teach their students through visual learning, practical exercises, and give rewards on their performance.

Furthermore, extra curriculum activities like play is essential especially for primary school students because these exercies foster both the physical and mental health. Play alleviates the detrimental effects like anxiety or depression which are more common mental problems among primary school learners. To illustrate, a student who only focuses on their studies may get good grades but there is a high possibility of axiety or depression as well. Similarly, play helps us to learn extra skills like team management, communication, discipline, and team leading which are vital for professional life.

To conclude, nowadays, more and more schools are focusing on learning methods that help students to acquire everything effectively. Play is also important and schools should foster playing exercises. But first priority should be given to education, while the importance of play should not be neglected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address both parts of the question and state a clear, qualified position: “I partially agree,” while also arguing that play is essential. The response gives relevant support, including the benefits of practical learning and the physical, mental, and social value of play. The example of Chinese schools adds illustration, although the claim that they have “totally eliminated” book-based learning is broad and would be more convincing with a specific, credible detail. Your discussion of whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning is less fully developed than your explanation of play: the essay describes changes in teaching but does not clearly show why formal learning remains excessive or how far you agree. Develop that comparison more explicitly and connect each example to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on teaching methods and play, and a conclusion. Ideas progress logically, and signposts such as “Furthermore,” “To illustrate,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the argument. The two main body paragraphs each have a recognisable focus, and examples generally appear in the relevant place. At times, however, the links between claims could be more explicit. For example, the discussion of technology and job-market skills does not clearly explain how these changes answer whether formal learning is overemphasised. The conclusion also introduces a priority for education that is not fully established in the body. Make these relationships clearer and use transitions to show how each point supports your stated position.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary and attempt some less common expressions, including “detrimental effects,” “alleviates,” and “technological advancements.” These choices help communicate ideas about learning and wellbeing. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “extra curriculum activities,” “team management,” and “team leading.” There are also spelling errors, including “exercies” and “axiety,” which reduce precision. Some phrases, such as “primary academic institutions,” are unnecessarily formal and repeated where “primary schools” would sound more natural. Aim for accurate, idiomatic combinations rather than choosing elaborate wording; this will make your argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause in “because these exercies foster…” and a relative clause in “methods that help students…”. Most sentences communicate their meaning, and the overall argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, however. In “institutions have adapt,” the verb form should be “have adapted”; “play is essential especially for primary school students because these…” has a mismatch between singular “play” and plural “these”; and “a student who only focuses on their studies may get good grades but there is…” would benefit from clearer clause punctuation. There are also tense and article issues in “most of the primary schools used to focus.” Review verb forms, agreement, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to use varied structures.

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