Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Althrough, education is improve through out this past years, but still their are rising discussioin about schools which totaly focuse on formal learing methourds for primary class students. I stroungly agree with this view point due to, majority of activity in their cirriculm are basied on theoraticla topices which cover academic knowledge for future base. Moreover, according to my view including playfull study system in school reaily benefits, students growth.

One of the primary reason, to which schools education is moslly based on higher conceptual systerm, that their can helps to bulied strong foundation. In today socity where everywards, seeks sucesses for standed lifestyle, education play a crucial role in it. Therefor, large amount of school engage in activity started with primary class students to build their foundation, even at the cost of mintal stress to childrens. For example, it is often seen, that china had become faster grown economic, in wourld, where they have done huge investements in education and human capital. By which their is grown tendce about society people that if, they do not their children in studyes early then it could harm his future career. Hence, I my opinnion the most of school put education strees early in their primary schooling.

On other hand, This is reaily significant, benefit for children to go through mix cirriculm at small age. This is because, The complex education study, which include both physical and mental exercise, assist kides to get overall development in their prime age. That afterward leads to greater opportunity in learning. For instance, In china, larg numers of school introduce the playfull learing techineques, That move around to build critical intelligence and coordination with their hearlty body. Therefor, their leads to greaterr highets in higher studyes at school and university for childrens.

In counclution, It is true that scholls are froused to put formal learning in primary children to mach the society demand, and which also create stressful environment that became challenge for student to grow. And i also belive with the notion, but introducing playfull learning methroud, develop mind and body, which is necessary for further education, and must to followed in every country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, while also arguing that play should be included. You address both questions and give relevant reasons, including the pressure to build academic foundations and the benefits of combining physical and mental activity. The examples about China help illustrate these points, although they are broad and their connection to classroom practice is not always clear. The discussion of why schools prioritise formal study is more developed than the explanation of how play supports learning. To strengthen the response further, explain specific classroom activities and show more directly how they develop skills or reduce stress; this would make the support more precise and fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present contrasting points, and a conclusion restates your position. Transitions such as “Moreover,” “On other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some linking is mechanical, and connections between ideas are occasionally unclear. For example, the move from China’s economic growth to pressure on parents and then to early academic stress needs a clearer explanation. References such as “their” and “which” also make it difficult to identify exactly what is being discussed. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each paragraph’s ideas follow a clearer cause-and-effect sequence, with precise references to schools, children, or activities.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “academic knowledge,” “mental stress,” “overall development,” and “critical intelligence.” This shows an effort to discuss education beyond very basic terms. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are frequent and sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning, as in “cirriculm,” “theoraticla,” “investements,” and “hearlty.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “faster grown economic” and “greater opportunity in learning.” Build a reliable set of education-related collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More accurate, natural phrasing will make your ideas clearer than using ambitious vocabulary that does not fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “where,” and “which.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, many sentences contain errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction, and these sometimes obscure the intended meaning. For example, “education is improve” needs a correctly formed passive, while “education play a crucial role” has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening sentence also joins contrasting clauses awkwardly, and several sentences beginning with “Therefor” or “By which” are incomplete or poorly connected. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check punctuation.

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