Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowdays , most of the schools mainly focused on structued learning as compared to extra curicullum learning . Although many people believe that academic learning is more important .I partially agree with this statement.

First and foremost reason is learners formal learning plays a crucial role in the development of learning skills and it develops student to be more focused in study as well as to make children punctuate and step by step learn the things . For instance , 40% of students in Australia are more focused in their studies by following the formal learning. As a result children gain more knowledge in their studies and more puntuate in their lessons.

Furthermore, Structured education helps the student to grow in their carrer by studying the different subjects . It provide knowledge of the subjects so they can learn their subjects like science and maths . If scientist does not follow the structured education there jobs will be in danger they doesnot know the technical knowledge .

On the other hand, every coin has positive and negative side learning academic is important but sometimes students get bored they lost their interest in study when they study only lessons and not doing activity . If teachers make the lessons more intresting by adding some little games and experiment , Then children can learn more easily . However, learners cannot learn their work proficiently .

To recaptulate, desipte there are awful aspects of learning fomal education its advantage cannot be over shadowed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a partial response to both questions and state, “I partially agree,” but the position is not fully explained: most of the essay argues for formal learning, while the importance of play is addressed only briefly in one paragraph. The points about focus, knowledge and future careers are relevant, yet they are asserted rather than developed; for example, the claim that 40% of Australian students benefit from formal learning is not explained or supported. The discussion of games and experiments begins to show how play can help, but the final sentence, “learners cannot learn their work proficiently,” is unclear and does not complete the point. Explain more directly how play supports children’s learning and balance this against formal instruction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs supporting formal education, a contrasting paragraph about boredom and activities, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Furthermore,” and “On the other hand” help signal the direction of ideas. However, progression is sometimes mechanical, and the relationship between sentences is not always clear. For instance, the point about scientists’ jobs follows the discussion of subjects without explaining the connection, while “However” introduces a sentence that seems to contradict the preceding benefit of games. The conclusion is very brief and does not clearly bring together your position on both formal learning and play. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “structured education,” “academic learning,” and “technical knowledge,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “make children punctuate” where you appear to mean punctual, “grow in their carrer,” and “learn their work proficiently.” Spelling errors such as “Nowdays,” “structued,” and “intresting” are also noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than repeating “learning” and “subjects”; for example, describe how classroom activities “maintain children’s interest” or help them “understand concepts.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would make your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although many people believe that academic learning is more important” and a conditional example beginning “If teachers make the lessons more interesting…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation can make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “It provide knowledge” needs subject–verb agreement, while “If scientist does not follow… there jobs… they doesnot know” contains several agreement and pronoun problems. Sentence boundaries are also unclear in “Although many people believe… .I partially agree.” Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause, then check agreement and punctuation before adding subordinate clauses.

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