Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Few of individuals beleive that primary institutions relay too much on the formal learning. it is important to develop discpline and the perfection in children in thier academic and social life. on the other hand, it obstruct in the student mental development and gave student problem of social anxiety. it is elaborated as given below.

To begin with, formal learning contains significant role in the lives of the childrens because it provides discpline in their lifestyle although, it mainly focus on their academic proficiency. whereas childrens are read many new novels under the instruction of formal learning which helps us to develop new skills like video editing and freelancing it is their side hustle, so they can easily do their online business during these studies. Moreover, students are become punctual and self develop by this mentod. To illustrate it, mrs. katherine viner. in the 2009 conducted a research, in the UK and she assert that their students got much enchancing and valuable academic results by the formal learning.

On the contrary, it mainly obstuct the students mental health and it ruin their physical efficiency. as we saw as practical method if students are study under the strict environmnet than they not got much time for any specific game like cricket and volleyball. it gave destruction to their state of mind. so as far as the researches are concerned that it significantly boosts in their health problems and issues

In conclusion, i partially agree with that it provides discpline to childrens and also it gave their efeect on their physical appereance

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You present a partial position, saying formal learning can build discipline but may harm mental and physical wellbeing, and you include some relevant points about play and games. However, the response does not clearly answer how important play is in the classroom, and the conclusion only briefly repeats the benefits and drawbacks rather than stating a developed view. Several supporting claims are unclear or insufficiently connected to the question—for example, the discussion of video editing, freelancing and online business does not explain how these relate to primary-school formal learning. The reference to a research study is also not explained or supported. To strengthen the response, state your degree of agreement clearly and develop each main reason with a relevant classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and transitions such as “To begin with” and “On the contrary” show an attempt to organise contrasting points. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from discipline to novels, video editing and freelancing without clear links. Some connectors are used inaccurately or mechanically, including “although” and “whereas” in the same passage, while “it is elaborated as given below” adds little meaning. The final paragraph is very brief and does not bring the argument together. Organise each body paragraph around one clear idea, then explain and illustrate it in sequence, using referencing and linking phrases only where they clarify the relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education and wellbeing, including “formal learning,” “academic proficiency,” “social anxiety” and “physical efficiency.” There is also some effort to use less common expressions, but inaccurate word choice, spelling and collocation are frequent enough to make parts of the message unclear. Examples include “the perfection in children,” “it gave destruction to their state of mind” and “got much enchancing and valuable academic results.” Several words are misspelled, such as “discpline,” “obstuct” and “environmnet.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate wording: for instance, describe learning as “developing discipline,” and say that excessive academic pressure “can harm children’s wellbeing.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would also improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “although” and a conditional idea beginning “if students are study under the strict environment.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence formation make the argument harder to understand. Examples include “it obstruct in the student mental development,” “students are become punctual,” and “if students are study,” which show problems with verb forms and agreement. Sentence boundaries and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in “it is elaborated as given below” and “mrs. katherine viner.” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with correct verb forms. Check articles, plurals and punctuation when editing.

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