Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and ignoring play. I strongly agree with this opinion and believe that play is very important for young children in the classroom.

To begin with, many primary schools nowadays focus too much on formal learning such as reading, writing and other science subjects. Children are forced to sit for long hours, memorize books and do lot of work. For example, private schools in Pakistan, even 5 years children have carry heavy bags and prepare for tests. They gives a lot of homework burden, pressure and strees to the young age of children. As a result, children lose interest in studies and their creativity is totally damaged.

Moreover, play is not a waste of time rather it is a powerful form of learning. When children play games in the classroom, they learn many siginificant life skills. For instance, team games teach them how to cooperate, share and communicate with other. On the other hand, physical play keeps children healthy, active and happy. Therefore, play should be considered as part of education.

In my opinion, the best primary education system is a combination of both formal learning and play learning. Formal learning gives children basic academic knowledge, while play develops their social, mental, and physical growth. Schools should use the concept of learning through play for pung children. For example, they can teach maths with building blocks or language with story games.

In conclusion, I completely agree that primary schools focus too much on formal study, which is harmful. It is essential for schools to include play in the classroom to develop welll-rounded, confident and healthy children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you strongly agree that primary schools overemphasise formal learning, and you explain why play matters. You address both parts of the question by discussing the drawbacks of academic pressure and the educational value of play, then recommending a balance. Examples such as team games teaching cooperation and using building blocks for maths help extend your ideas. The response is relevant throughout, though some claims are broad—for example, that children’s creativity is “totally damaged”—and the Pakistan example would be stronger with clearer explanation of how these practices affect learning. Develop such points with more specific reasoning or evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal learning and play, a paragraph proposing balance, and a conclusion. The progression from the problem to the benefits of play and then to a practical solution is easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” make the stages explicit, while “For example” introduces relevant illustrations. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent arrangement and shows some stronger control through logical paragraphing. To make cohesion more flexible and less formulaic, vary how you connect ideas and use pronouns or references more precisely; for instance, clarify what “They” refers to in the sentence about homework and pressure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main points, including “formal learning,” “cooperate,” “communicate,” “academic knowledge,” and “learning through play.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “physical play” and “well-rounded.” However, the range is limited in places, and several noticeable word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors reduce precision: “do lot of work,” “homework burden,” “strees,” “siginificant,” and “pung children.” Some phrases are also awkward, such as “to the young age of children.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and choosing natural combinations, while varying repeated words such as “play,” “children,” and “learning.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “Formal learning gives children basic academic knowledge, while play develops their social, mental, and physical growth.” Most ideas remain understandable, but errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to limit accuracy. For example, “It is often argue” needs a passive participle, “Children … have carry” has an incorrect verb pattern, and “They gives” has subject–verb disagreement. The example beginning “For example, private schools in Pakistan” is also not a complete, well-formed sentence. Practise checking each clause for a clear subject and correctly formed verb, then proofread agreement and articles.

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