Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that primary schools should concentrate more on formal learning. I firmly agree with this view because students can achieve quality education and can perform better in their exams.

The main reason is that teachers are required to design the overall planner of the course before initiating a new class. This is because a structured course helps the teachers to teach only necessary concepts to their students and avoid teaching those concepts which have no value in the future. This allows the students to learn the fundamentals clearly and perform efficiently in the classes. For example, in Beaconhouse school, faculties are required to set the course structures first and provide the classes to the students then. In this way, their grades are always exceptional in terms of those students who study in unstructured manner.

I believe courses must be designed to engage candidates in entertainment activities along with learning. This is because entertainment is beneficial for students mental health. Students can engage in particular fun activities and overcome the burden of the courses. For instance, in kindergarden school, the teachers play indoor games such as cards with their students on every week. In this way, students are always excided to attend their classes an play exiting games with their teachers. It also helps to maintain a great connection between the students and the teachers.

Overall, I am agree with the view because students can build great foundation of education and behave well in the classes. Moreover, playing games along with the learning helps maintain mental and physical health and participate nicely in different activities of the classes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you support formal learning, while also recognising that play should be included. You give relevant reasons, such as structured courses helping children learn fundamentals and games supporting mental health, and the school examples make the discussion more concrete. However, the response only partly develops the first question: it does not clearly explain why primary schools currently focus too much on formal learning or weigh the disadvantages of that emphasis. The second question is addressed more directly, but the importance of play is mainly asserted rather than explored in depth. To strengthen the response, state your extent of agreement more precisely and explain how formal study and play should be balanced, using examples that directly support that position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for formal learning and play, and a concluding paragraph. This helps the reader identify the two main topics. However, progression between ideas is limited, and the argument sometimes feels like a sequence of claims rather than a connected discussion. For example, the first body paragraph moves from course planning to exam performance and then to Beaconhouse without clearly showing how the example proves that schools focus too much on formal learning. Linking phrases such as “This is because” and “For example” are used repeatedly, while the conclusion largely repeats earlier points. Make each paragraph develop one clear claim, connect evidence explicitly to it, and use varied referencing and transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to education, including “structured course,” “fundamentals,” “mental health,” and “indoor games,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably unnatural, which reduces precision. Examples include “overall planner of the course,” “provide the classes,” and “students are always excided”; these expressions make parts of the argument less clear or fluent. There are also spelling errors such as “kindergarden,” “exiting,” and “excided.” Aim to use more natural academic phrases and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for the balance between classroom instruction and play would also help you explain your position with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “which,” and most of the intended meaning can be followed. However, control is uneven, and errors recur in basic structures as well as longer sentences. For example, “students mental health” needs a possessive form, “on every week” uses an incorrect preposition, and “I am agree” has an incorrect verb construction. In “attend their classes an play,” the conjunction is also missing its correct form. Some sentences are awkwardly assembled, which makes relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise accurate verb patterns, possessives, articles, and prepositions, then proofread each sentence for a complete and grammatically consistent structure.

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