Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Yes it is little bit true but i am not agree with that because the formal learning are very impoetant for the children in the peimary schools because for doing that cghildren haver making the interest to goes to the school. It is very important for children to play as well as learn in the calssroom in the primary school because when we enroll upr childs into the school that time theirs age just 4 to 5 years old and they have not mindset to understand the area and the value of learning and about school. They don't know about that why we come here and what is the important of the education sothey are crying to goes totheschool and crying for leaving their parents and home. When they just learn books into the school they will be feels boring for that but when they paly with other childs into the classroom during the studies they have making interest to goes there. They definitely think about that we should go there daily because we play the different games with our classfellows. They making new friends, they meet new childrens and making have a fun during the studies so these thing will be attract to them to come here. My nephew was just 4 years old and we enrolled him into the school but they was crying for went there but after some days they get up early in the morning by himself and went there with happy mood because they have many friend there who's play with him in the classroom. So i think so that it is very important.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions: you state that formal learning is important, while also arguing that play helps young children become interested in school. The example about your nephew gives the response a relevant personal illustration. However, the position is not fully clear at the start: “Yes it is little bit true” appears to agree that schools focus too much on formal learning, but “i am not agree” then rejects this view. The discussion also concentrates on how play encourages attendance and enjoyment, with little explanation of how play supports learning or how much classroom time it should receive. Clarify your degree of agreement and develop both sides of the question with more specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a broadly understandable line: it moves from your view of formal learning to the benefits of play, then gives your nephew as an example. This helps the reader identify the main topic. However, the ideas are presented in one long paragraph, so the shift from your general explanation to the personal example is not clearly signposted. Several points about children enjoying school, making friends and wanting to return are repeated, and links such as “because,” “but” and “so” carry much of the progression. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons and example, and make each paragraph develop one main point. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow who “they” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “classroom,” “education,” “games” and “classfellows,” and the reader can generally understand your message. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, particularly around children going to school and playing with friends. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “making the interest,” “they have making interest” and “these thing will be attract to them.” Spelling errors, including “impoetant,” “peimary” and “calssroom,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range for explaining educational benefits—for example, language development, cooperation and motivation—and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences using “because,” “when” and “but,” and you communicate a sequence of events in the example. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For instance, “i am not agree” has an incorrect verb form, while “when we enroll upr childs … that time theirs age just 4 to 5 years old” has problems with clause structure, agreement and possessives. Tense and subject agreement are also inconsistent in “they was crying” and “they get up … and went there.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses; check articles, plurals, verb forms and sentence boundaries.

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