Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people argue that primary schools focus mainly too much on formal learning. I strongly agree with the statement, because now a days primary schools more focused on learning.

On one hand, primary schools focused too much on theoritical learning from books and missing with sports and activities on their young age. For example, if the childrens are learning only theory knowledge they won't remember for long time, they feel bore and not show much intrest in learning and their physical ability sucks.

On the other hand, if the primary schools have learn and play concept, the childrens were enjoy learning and remember things for long-time. For example, when children work together to build a structure using blocks, they learn to share ideas, solve practical problems and cooperate with their classmates. Similarly, games involving numbers and words can make mathematics and language lessons more enjoyable and easier to understand. Such activities also allow children to remain physically active and develop positive relationships with others.

In my opinion, the most effective approach is to combine formal lessons with play-based learning. Teachers can introduce new concepts through interactive activities and then reinforce them through written exercises. This balanced method enables children to acquire essential academic knowledge without neglecting their social, emotional and physical development.

In conclusion, although formal education is necessary in primary schools, I believe that excessive emphasis on academic work can be counterproductive. Play should be an integral part of classroom learning because it makes education more engaging and supports children's development in several important areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you strongly support combining formal lessons with play, and the conclusion restates this view effectively. You address both the concern about excessive formal learning and the importance of play, with relevant examples such as building with blocks and number or word games. These examples explain how play can support cooperation, problem-solving, enjoyment and physical activity, so the response is supported rather than merely asserted. The discussion is generally well focused, though the opening claim that schools are “more focused on learning” is broad and not developed with evidence. To strengthen the response further, explain more specifically how formal learning is excessive in primary classrooms and develop one example of its effects in greater depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: it introduces your position, contrasts formal learning with play, proposes a balanced approach, and concludes consistently. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the structure easy to follow. The examples in the third paragraph also connect logically to the benefits you identify. However, the contrastive opening of the second paragraph is not fully matched by the content, since it describes the drawbacks of formal learning rather than presenting a distinct opposing view. Some links are also mechanical, particularly the repeated “For example” and “Similarly.” Use a wider range of natural transitions and make the relationship between each paragraph’s main point and its examples more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “play-based learning,” “interactive activities,” “reinforce,” and “social, emotional and physical development.” These phrases help express the main ideas clearly, and the later paragraphs show a useful range. However, the opening and first body paragraph contain noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling problems, such as “now a days,” “theoritical learning,” “missing with sports,” “feel bore,” and “their physical ability sucks.” These choices sound unnatural or informal and sometimes make the intended meaning less precise. Aim for accurate academic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise language for the effects of formal instruction and play would make the argument sound more controlled and appropriate to the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentence forms, and several later sentences are controlled well, including “Teachers can introduce new concepts through interactive activities and then reinforce them through written exercises.” The final paragraphs also use subordinate clauses and coordinated ideas effectively. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction are frequent enough to limit accuracy. For example, “primary schools focused” needs a suitable present-tense verb, “the childrens are learning” has an incorrect plural form and verb agreement, and “the childrens were enjoy” has an incorrect verb pattern. The opening sentence also has an awkward construction around “focus mainly too much.” Practise forming accurate present-tense statements and checking subject–verb agreement before adding complexity.

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