Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that primary schools focus more on formal learning. In my opinion, I believe that most primary schools these days also focus on physical activites along with formal studies. The reason behind this approach is that physical activities are essential for a child's growth as they keep the child physically active and healthy.

Firstly, I highly disagree with the statement that primary schools are more focused on formal learning these days. The reason behind my disagreement is that in today's modern world, people understand the importance of physical activites for children. Moreover, if a child is only pushed to study, and is not taught other important aspects of growing, his growth will be impacted. For example, most primary school these days have a mandatory sports period for children to encourage them to go outdoor and play.

Secondly, in my opinion, letting children play and perform physical activites is as important as giving them formal education. The reason behind this is that if children are not encouraged to play, and are only forced to learn and focus on their education, they will lose the best years of their childhood and might become depressed. Furthermore, physical education is as important as formal education as it plays a crucial role in the children's brain development from a very young age. For instance, according to a survey conducted by Chakor pvt, in Lahore Pakistan, in the year 2024, it has been observed that 91% of the children who are encouraged to participate in sports and other physically activities, grow faster and are more intelligent than the children who are pushed to focus only on studies.

To encapsulate, I highly disagree with the statement that primary schools are more focused on formal learning as it is evident that majority of primary schools have mandatory sports period for children so they can play, and have some physical activity. Moreover, allowing children to play is as important as pushing them to study as it helps in their brain development and prevents the children from stress and depression.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you explain why play matters alongside education. You address both parts of the prompt, using the sports period as an example and linking physical activity to children’s development and wellbeing. This gives the response relevant support. However, the first part is less fully established: the claim that most schools balance learning with activity is asserted rather than demonstrated, and a mandatory sports period alone does not show how much classroom time is devoted to formal learning. The survey example supports your second point, but its relevance would be stronger if you explained the finding rather than relying mainly on its figures. More balanced, specific development would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing the main ideas, and a conclusion that restates your position. Sequencing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “To encapsulate” help readers identify each stage. This coherent arrangement is effective, though the linking can feel mechanical because several sentences repeat “The reason behind…” or begin with “Moreover” and “Furthermore.” Some connections between claims could also be made more explicit: for example, the survey is presented after the point about brain development, but the explanation of how its results support that claim is brief. Use a wider range of natural transitions and clearer references between evidence and the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas about schooling, exercise, and children’s wellbeing, including phrases such as “formal education,” “brain development,” and “mandatory sports period.” However, the range is somewhat repetitive, particularly with repeated use of “physical activities,” “children,” and “important.” Some word choices and collocations are awkward or imprecise, such as “go outdoor,” “grow faster,” and “pushed to focus only on studies.” There are also spelling or form issues, including “activites” and “physically activities.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim to vary key terms and check common collocations and word forms so your vocabulary is more accurate and flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if a child is only pushed to study…” and “if children are not encouraged to play…”. Most ideas remain clear, and the response includes some well-controlled longer sentences. There are, however, some errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “most primary school these days have” needs a plural noun and matching verb, while “a mandatory sports period” is later referred to as “mandatory sports period” without an article. The sentence beginning “For instance, according to a survey…” is long and would benefit from clearer grammatical control. Review singular and plural agreement, article use, and punctuation in longer sentences to improve accuracy while retaining structural variety.

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