Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

It is argued that the junior schools pay attention to systematic training.

1. primary school plays an important role in the punctuality and discipline of children by imposing a formal curriculum. for example: the teachings tells how discipline can help a person in succeeding, the timings of each period and assembly highlights the important of punctuality.

2. Great players are not born they are made by great institutes

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response makes a relevant start by referring to formal curriculum, discipline and punctuality, and the example of lesson periods and assembly relates to primary schooling. However, it does not clearly state how far you agree, and it does not answer the second question about the importance of play in the classroom. The statement “Great players are not born they are made by great institutes” is not explained or connected clearly to either part of the task. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, leaving the ideas very limited and unsupported. To improve, state your position directly, discuss both formal learning and play, and develop each point with explanation and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces formal education, and the numbered points separate ideas. The example beginning “for example” also signals a supporting detail. However, the numbering does not create a clear essay progression, and the second point about “Great players” appears without a link to the preceding discussion. There is no developed introduction, conclusion, or paragraph structure to guide the reader through a position and its supporting reasons. The colon after “for example” and the abrupt transition also make the connection between ideas less smooth. Use paragraphs for the introduction, each main argument, and the conclusion, and connect them with clear references and transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary, including “formal curriculum,” “discipline,” “punctuality,” and “assembly,” which shows an attempt to discuss school routines rather than relying only on very basic terms. However, the range is narrow, and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural: “systematic training” is not a clear substitute for formal learning, while “junior schools” and “great institutes” do not precisely identify primary schools or educational settings. “The important of punctuality” also uses the wrong word form. Broaden the vocabulary to cover both classroom learning and play, and choose collocations that express your meaning precisely. For example, refer to “structured lessons,” “play-based learning,” and “social development.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both a short opening sentence and a longer sentence that gives an example, so there is some sentence variety. The main meaning is generally recoverable, but control is uneven. In “the teachings tells,” the plural subject does not agree with the singular verb; “the timings of each period and assembly highlights” has a similar agreement problem. The example sentence also needs clearer sentence boundaries and punctuation, and the opening word of the second numbered point should be capitalised. The response relies mainly on simple structures, with little evidence of controlled complex sentences. Practise subject–verb agreement and build longer sentences using accurate clauses, such as explaining how a classroom activity supports a particular skill.

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