Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people argue that schools in early stages emphasize only on formal learning of students rather than also encouraging them to pursue other interests like art, drama or sports. I completely agree with this argument and also believe that it is crucial for children to also play along with their studies, especially in primary schools as it can have several positive impacts on their development.

The primary reason schools focus only on curriculum is because of a common notion that formal education is the only way get a job and develop and excellent career. A significant proportion of parents also believe that and prefer to enroll their students in such schools that do not really focus on children's extracurricular activities. The forces many private school to adapt according to parent's beliefs rather than the need of children. For example, in Pakistan art and sports classes are empty every year in public schools and private schools do not even bother to offer the, and the reason is same.

Although the main objective of schools is formal education, I believe it is important for children to indulge in sports and other extracurricular activities alongside their studies especially at an early age. This way they can get to explore different things and know where they interests lie and what they are good at. Indulging in sports activities can teach them important skills including teamwork, leadership, and socialization which undoubtedly are very important in many aspects of life.

To conclude, I would say letting children play along with their studies is very important for their studies and schools should organize such activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that primary schools overemphasise formal learning, and you also explain why play matters. The response addresses both questions, particularly through the points about exploring interests and developing teamwork and leadership. These relevant ideas support your view, but some are not fully developed. For instance, the claim that parents’ preferences force private schools to adapt is asserted rather than explained, and the Pakistan example is brief and unclear. The conclusion restates your position but adds little to the argument. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of excessive formal learning and develop one example in more detail, showing how classroom play benefits children’s learning or development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph explaining why schools prioritise formal education, a paragraph on the value of play, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a coherent route through your argument. Linking phrases such as “The primary reason,” “Although,” and “To conclude” help signal the stages. However, progression within the first body paragraph is less smooth: the move from parents’ beliefs to the claim about private schools needs a clearer explanation, and the example about classes being empty is difficult to connect to the preceding point. Some connections, such as “This way,” are broad rather than precise. Use clearer referencing and explain how each example supports the point, while varying transitions so the structure feels less formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “extracurricular activities,” “teamwork,” and “leadership.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and you attempt some more specific language about children’s development. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision: “emphasize only on” is not natural, “pursue other interests” is more suitable than “indulge in” for activities, and “play along with their studies” is unclear in this context. There are also errors such as “the reason is same” and “offer the,” which make parts of the example awkward. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check word forms and spelling; this would make your vocabulary more flexible and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including the contrast introduced by “Although” and the relative clause in “schools that do not really focus…”. Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the only way get a job” needs an infinitive marker, and “what they are good at” follows an earlier agreement error in “where they interests lie.” The sentence beginning “The forces many private school” also has problems with its subject and verb, while “it is important for children to indulge… especially at an early age” would benefit from clearer punctuation. Review agreement, missing grammatical words, and sentence boundaries, then proofread complex sentences to improve control.

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