Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, primary education has a matter of considerable debate due to its far-reaching imapct on individuals and society. While some people believe that primary schools focus mostly on tradational learning, i partly agree with this viewpoint. There are several reasons from my prespective.

The primary reason of my viewpoint is that the education play a vital role in our society. Most of the schools still learn their students with fromal education. Todays, tradational education is too out dated, and we must need to learn our students with modern techniqes such as practical with theory subjects, and also use latest computers to inhance our students skills. If we do this, we take a great benefits for society and also help to economy growth.

On the other hand, sports with education are also essential for our young generation. Although education is very important for every individual, sports are also important. Because sports is neccessary for human physical and mental health. Moreover, sports help to prove ability of individuals which how much are competent. For example, any person which participent any competion they try to prove himself who they competent.

In conclusion, Sports and education both are important. Education help to inhance human knowledge and thoughts, and sports helps to inhance their physical health. If governments should educate their people about education and sport how much impeortant then we take a great benefits from this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a partly clear position in the introduction (“i partly agree”) and discuss both formal education and the value of sport, so the response is relevant to the topic. However, the task asks specifically whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and how important play is in the classroom. Your first body paragraph mainly recommends modern teaching methods and computers, rather than explaining whether formal learning is excessive; the discussion of play is also mostly about sport and health, with little explanation of how classroom play supports learning. Examples and reasons remain general, and the conclusion does not resolve your degree of agreement. The response is 16 words below the required minimum. Develop each part of the question directly and support your position with a specific classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages, and the reader can follow the broad contrast between education and sport. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: the first moves from formal education to technology and economic benefits without clearly linking these points to the question of excessive formal learning. Some connections are also awkward or repetitive, such as “Although education is very important… sports are also important.” The conclusion repeats earlier claims rather than drawing them together. Use topic sentences that answer the prompt, then connect each supporting reason explicitly to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “primary education,” “formal education,” “physical and mental health,” and “economy growth,” and you attempt to express ideas about teaching methods and children’s development. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes meaning less clear: “learn their students with,” “prove ability,” and “take a great benefits” are not natural expressions. Spelling errors such as “imapct,” “tradational,” and “neccessary” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of phrases for classroom learning and play, and check spelling and word forms carefully. For example, describe how play can “develop social skills” or “reinforce classroom learning.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including “While some people believe…” and “Although education is very important…,” and you use basic present-tense statements to communicate your main points. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “the education play a vital role,” “sports is neccessary,” and “If governments should educate their people…,” where agreement or sentence structure is faulty. The sentence “For example, any person which participent any competion…” also has problems with relative clauses and verb forms. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete conditional structures, and favour clear sentences before attempting longer ones.

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