Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Many individual contend that primary education emphasise too much on formal education while other believe that play based learning is crucial for children overall department this essay will discuss both prospective before presenting my own opinion

To Begin With Some individual claim that primary education should pay greater emphasis on formal education because it is crucial for learner . They believe that subject such as Mathematics , English and science asist children develop fundamental skills. These abilities offer a. strong foundation for their future education . Morever Classroom learning asist children become a disciplined and responsible. for example : Learner who regularly practice reading , writing and mathematics can perform can better

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the topic and begins to present a relevant point: formal subjects such as mathematics, English and science can build foundational skills. However, it does not answer both questions sufficiently. The view on whether schools focus too much on formal learning is not made clear, and the importance of play is mentioned only in the opening before being left unexplained. The promised discussion of both perspectives and personal opinion is therefore not delivered. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, leaving too little space to develop reasons or give a relevant example. State your position directly, explain how play supports children, and extend each point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the topic, and “To Begin With” signals the start of a supporting point. The ideas about formal subjects and foundational skills are also connected in a generally understandable order. However, the response does not progress to the other side of the discussion or to a conclusion, so the overall argument remains incomplete. Some linking is mechanical, and the opening’s promise to discuss both perspectives is not followed through. Build separate paragraphs for your position, the value of formal learning, and the role of play, using clear links between each. A concluding paragraph should summarise your answer to both questions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal education,” “fundamental skills,” “foundation,” and “disciplined and responsible.” These choices show an attempt to discuss education rather than relying entirely on everyday language. However, the range is limited, and several noticeable word-choice, word-form, and spelling errors make parts difficult to interpret, such as “overall department,” “both prospective,” and “asist.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “pay greater emphasis” and “perform can better.” Aim for accurate collocations and a wider set of terms for play-based learning, such as social development, creativity, and problem-solving. Proofread spelling and check that each word expresses the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a complex opening sentence with a contrast between people’s views, and it also uses a relative clause in “Learner who regularly practice…”. These show some effort to move beyond short, simple statements. However, control is inconsistent: the opening lacks clear sentence boundaries and punctuation, while “primary education emphasise” and “other believe” have subject–verb agreement problems. Articles and sentence construction are also unreliable, as in “a disciplined and responsible,” and the example sentence contains the confusing sequence “can perform can better.” Use complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, check singular and plural agreement, and punctuate introductory phrases and examples accurately. More accurate simple sentences would make the argument easier to follow.

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