Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Now a days schools are focusing on formal learning rather than balancing it with extracurricular activities. While, some individuals argue that primary schools focus too much on books learning. For this extent i totally agree with this statement. I think, that it is essential for students to play as well as learn in the primary school class room.

One main reason why people argue that primary schools focus more on formal learning is primary school trying to focus more on book learning rather than play in the class room while learning. However, if the student learn while playing in the class room may appear with more good results in studies. For instance, student can learn extra essential skills from extracurricular activities in class room. In results, learner study with more focus and learn the extra practical skills as well while study in the classroom.

I think it is very important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. because, if schools focus on just formal education the schoolchild also focus on watching and learning books always. But, if the primary schools add some extracurricular indoor activities that can be play while learning in the classroom. The students can focus more effectively on studies. For that reason, child now also learn practical skills with studies that will help them in their future to do more harder tasks.

In conclusion, the primary schools focus too much on formal learning it may decrease in their grades. But, if the schools allow student to play as well as learn in the class room it can increase their physical ability as well to do extra harder tasks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear response to both questions: “I totally agree” states your position, and you explain that children should play as well as learn. The examples of indoor activities and practical skills are relevant, but the ideas remain general; for instance, you do not identify a specific activity or explain in detail how it improves learning. The conclusion also introduces the claim that formal learning may decrease grades, which is not clearly supported in the essay. Overall, the task is only partially developed. The response contains 230 words, so it is 20 words below the 250-word minimum; the 47 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop your reasons with a concrete example and fuller explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly relate to the topic. You also use linking expressions such as “For instance,” “However,” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from formal learning to better results and then to practical skills without explaining the links between these points. Connectors are sometimes awkward or repetitive, and sentence fragments such as “because, if schools focus on just formal education…” interrupt the flow. Some references, including “that” in “activities that can be play,” are unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main reason and use clearer links between claim, example and explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “extracurricular activities,” “practical skills” and “physical ability.” This shows a basic range relevant to the question. However, vocabulary is repetitive, particularly “focus,” “learn” and “class room,” and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, such as “books learning,” “appear with more good results” and “do more harder tasks.” These expressions sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Aim for more precise, natural phrases and check spelling and word forms, for example, write “classroom” as one word and use “academic learning” or “achieve better results” where appropriate. More varied, accurate vocabulary would make your argument easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “if” and “while,” and the reader can generally identify your main position. However, the range is limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes making relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “if the student learn” (subject–verb agreement), “primary school trying to focus” (missing verb form), and “the schoolchild also focus” (agreement). Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: “I think it is very important… because” begins a new sentence with a lower-case connector, while “While, some individuals…” uses punctuation incorrectly. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build controlled conditional and subordinate clauses, checking agreement, articles and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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