Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

SOME PARENTS BELIEVE THAT PRIMARY SCHOOLS FOCUS TOO MUCH ON FORMAL LEARNING SKIPPING THEIR PLAY TIME. IN MY OPINION, SCHOOLS SHOULD TAKE ACADEMIC LEARNING AND EXTRACURICULAR ACTIVITY SIDE BY SIDE. BRAINS OF PRIMARY SCHOOL CHILDREN ARE VERY DELICATE, HENCE THEY CANNOT CONCENTRATE WHOLE SCHOOL PERIOD TO LEARNING. ENCORPORATING CLASSROMM PLAY WILL ENCHANCE THE FORMAL LEARNING.

TODAY, MORE SHOOLS ARE FOCUSED IN THE ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT. SCHOOLS PREFER TO BE IN THE LIST OF BEST SCHOOL IN THE TOWN OR BEST PERFORMER OF THE YEAR. FOR THIS, CHILDREN ARE PREPARED FOR TAKING STUDY PRESSURE AT VERY EARLY AGE, RIGHT FROM THE PRIMARY SCHOOLS AND ARE FORCED TO FOUCS ON ONLY FORMAL LEARNING ABANDONING EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITES. FOR INSTANCE, IF A LOCAL GOVERNMENT IS EXTRA FUNDING FOR THE SCHOOLS SCORING HIGH PASS PERCENTAGE THEN THE SCHOOLS WILL FOCUS ON FORMAL LEARNING RATHER THAN EXPLORING CHILDREN'S EXTRA ACITIVITY. THIS WILL NEGATIVELY EFFECT CHILD GROWTH AND CHILD WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DISCOVER NEW TALENT.

IT IS WIDELY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT CHILDREN WHO DID LEARNING AND PLAYING SIDE BY SIDE HAVE ACHIEVED GREAT IN THEIR LIFE, RATHER THAN CHILDREN WHO WERE FORCED TO FOCUS ON ONLY FORMAL LEARNING. FORMAL LEARNING GIVES CHILDREN THE KNOWLEDGE THEY REQUIRE AND PERFORMING IT PRACTICALLY MAKE THE KNOWLEDGE PERMANENT. FOR EXAMPLE, IF THE CHILDREN IS TAUGHT ABOUT THE MULTIPLICATION OF 3 IN THE CLASSROOM, SAME CAN BE TAUGHT WHI

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear view that academic learning and activities should be balanced, and you explain why schools may prioritise exam results. The example about extra funding for schools with high pass rates supports this point, while the multiplication example begins to show how play can reinforce learning. However, the second question—how important play is in the classroom—is only partly developed, and the response ends mid-sentence, leaving the example and conclusion incomplete. The response is also 218 words, below the 250-word minimum; the nine words copied from the prompt are not included in that count. Develop the classroom-play argument with a complete, specific example and finish by directly answering both questions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an opening position, a paragraph about academic pressure, and a paragraph introducing the benefits of combining learning with play. Linking expressions such as “For instance” and “For example” help signal illustrations. However, progression is limited because the final paragraph stops at “same can be taught whi,” so the example and overall argument are unfinished, and there is no conclusion. Some connections are also unclear, particularly “children who did learning and playing side by side have achieved great in their life,” which does not clearly explain how the claim supports the point. Use complete paragraphs, make each example’s relevance explicit, and add a concise conclusion that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “academic achievement,” “study pressure,” and “discover new talent,” so the reader can identify the main subject and your position. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate spellings or word combinations make the writing less clear, such as “extracuricular activity,” “enchance,” and “focused in the academic achievement.” Repeated use of “children,” “learning,” and “formal” also restricts variety. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe schools as “focused on academic achievement” and refer to “extracurricular activities.” More precise vocabulary for classroom play and its educational benefits would help you explain your ideas with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, including “For this, children are prepared…” and the conditional example beginning “if a local government…”. This shows an effort to connect ideas through more than basic sentence patterns. However, errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships difficult to follow. For example, “children who did learning and playing side by side have achieved” has an awkward tense construction, while “if the children is taught” has subject–verb disagreement. The opening also uses a fragment-like sequence of capitalised statements, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise accurate agreement, tense consistency, and complete sentence construction, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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