Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Over the past few years, a considerable change has been seen in schools learning. It is irrefutable fact that primary school students may focus alot on learning. This essay is in disagreement with the statement to some extent and the reasons would be discussed in the following paragraph.

To commence with, primary schools focus alot on the strict learning. First and foremost reason is that student can be book worm by strict learning from books and student can have alot of stress for their studies Which can affect their mental health and students may loose their confident in pulic and students cannot focus on their physical strength. For example- by doing explosive learning in schools can affect their mind.

On the other hand, students may have to play as well as learing. The most prominent reason is that students may enhance their physical health, also they can be more confident in public which may help alot in their career. For example- if children playing outside they can make alot of friends that can help to increase their confident.

Furthermore, another factor worth mentioning is that playing outside may reduce stress of studies and after that children can do more focus on their studies. Besides from this children also improve their social skill as they playing with new friends and also children also can enhance their creativity, by inventing new games, more ways to play with friend.

To conclude, i deem that students have to play as well as learn in primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the prompt: you express disagreement with the idea that formal learning should dominate and explain why play matters, especially for physical health, confidence, stress reduction and creativity. These are relevant reasons, and the examples about making friends and inventing games help illustrate them. However, your position is not fully clear at the start: “in disagreement with the statement to some extent” is difficult to interpret, and the essay does not explain what balance between formal learning and play you support. Some points, such as the effect of strict study on mental health, are asserted rather than developed with a clear explanation or example. State your position precisely and extend fewer ideas with specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, paragraphs presenting concerns about formal study and benefits of play, and a conclusion. The progression from possible harms of excessive study to the value of play is generally understandable. You also use signposts such as “On the other hand” and “Furthermore.” However, some linking is mechanical, and the relationship between ideas is occasionally unclear: “Besides from this” introduces several benefits without showing how they connect, while the first body paragraph combines stress, confidence and physical strength in one long sequence. Use clearer topic sentences and develop one main point at a time; also make references such as “that” in “that can help to increase their confident” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including terms related to education, wellbeing and social development, such as “mental health,” “physical health,” “social skill” and “creativity.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, including “strict learning” and “reduce stress.” However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Examples include “book worm” for a child who reads or studies excessively, “explosive learning,” and repeated use of “alot” and “confident.” Spelling errors such as “learing,” “loose” and “pulic” also weaken control. Build a more precise set of education-related collocations and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses with “which,” “if” and “as,” so there is some variety. The main ideas are usually recoverable, but control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences. For example, “if children playing outside they can make alot of friends” lacks a finite verb in the conditional clause, and “as they playing with new friends” has an incomplete verb form. There are also errors with articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “It is irrefutable fact” and the run-on sequence beginning “First and foremost reason is that.” Practise accurate clause construction and punctuation, then use complex sentences only when you can control their structure.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.