Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

School are an important part of children's life as they learn different things there. It is argued by some people that primary schools focus only on formal learning. From my perspective, focusing too much on studies is not important because children need rest and some activities to relax there mind as they are in their early stage of life.

To begin with, focusing too much on formal learning can't give resutls rather in primary schools students should be tought with creative methods such as intractive learning, group learning and through video lessons. For instance. a study conducted by Dawn News on primary school pupils show that 80% of students learn difficult concepts as compared to those who are taught formally.

Secondly, in my opinion, it is very improtant for the primary school children to play in class rooms as it they can relax abd enjoy sometime and get familiar with the school, and it also has impact their studies and they eventually perform well in the class room. To prove my point, it is seen that naughty students who do mischeifs in class perform better in the intelligence tests than others.

To sum up, as I mentioned playing in classroom as well as learning affect the students' iq, and creative methods proved to better for learning purposes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a relevant position: you oppose excessive formal study and support opportunities for play, so both parts of the question are addressed. However, the response only partially develops these ideas. The suggestion to use creative methods is relevant, but the claim that pupils learn difficult concepts better is not clearly explained, and the example about “naughty students” performing better in intelligence tests does not convincingly show why classroom play matters. The conclusion repeats your main points rather than drawing them together. The response is also 33 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your reasons. Develop each main point with a clear explanation and a directly relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “To begin with” and “Secondly,” and a concluding paragraph. This helps the reader identify your main points. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from formal learning to teaching methods and then to a study without explaining the connection. In the second, the link between play, relaxation, academic performance and intelligence tests is also difficult to follow. Some linking is mechanical, and the conclusion repeats earlier claims. Use topic sentences that state one central idea, then explain it step by step; make references such as “it” and “this” clearly point to a specific idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to education, including “formal learning,” “creative methods,” “group learning” and “intelligence tests.” These choices make your general topic clear, but the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “resutls,” “tought,” “intractive,” “improtant” and “mischeifs.” Some phrases are also awkward or imprecise, including “relax there mind” and “affect the students’ iq.” Aim to use accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for the benefits of play—such as social interaction, engagement or concentration—would help you express your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a sentence linked with “and.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to process. For example, “School are an important part” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “as it they can relax” contains a faulty clause structure. In “it also has impact their studies,” the verb pattern is incomplete, and “students … show” does not agree with the plural subject in the intended tense. Punctuation is also inconsistent, as in “For instance.” before the example. Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause and carefully checked subordinate clauses.

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