Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Education is the most necessary factor for children in their primary schools, as we all have been relied on a quote in our childhood that education is the key to success but a student who have activities like playing games and involving in social circle is far more sharp minded as compared to the children who just gain a formal education in an institute.

According to my prespective, it is very important for children to play in the classroom with their teachers and class mates but also prioritise their education and we will discussed this here.

In schools, we should focus on activites like games involved algorithms, abacus and others. In a recent study by UK university, it has been published that those children who were just learning from books were 50% less sharp minded then those who involved in classroom games. The teacher and institutes should focus not just on these types of games but also to the activites in which students were compete each other in groups and these types of games creates competition between students or friend and encourage them to learn rapidly.

In addition to learning and multiple activites in classrooms in the primary schools, the institute should also focus on computer based playing activites which will enhance the thinking process of students in thier young age. In a recent article publised by the Cambridge, after an interview in a software company many of the employee has been revealed that they were involved in multiple activites related to their studies from their schools which will boost their confidence. Hence they will easily tackle the difficult rounds of interview in the comparison with other competitors.

In conclusion, the indoor classroom activites are very essential for children beside their books reading because the ability to resolve complex situation will be only possible with a sharp mind not just with a mind full of knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the prompt: you argue that play should accompany formal learning and explain why classroom activities matter. Your position is clear in phrases such as “it is very important for children to play” and the conclusion that activities are essential alongside reading. The examples of group games, abacus activities and computer-based tasks are relevant, and the claimed benefits—confidence, thinking skills and cooperation—support your view. This meets the task well, with some elements showing the fuller development expected at a higher level. However, the discussion focuses mainly on the benefits of play and gives less attention to whether primary schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning. Develop that comparison directly, and explain more clearly how play can be balanced with academic instruction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have a central focus, and transitions such as “In addition” and “In conclusion” help signal the progression. However, connections between some ideas are mechanical or unclear. For example, the move from computer-based activities to employees’ interview experiences does not fully explain how the school activities led to those outcomes. The opening sentence is also overloaded, making the main point harder to follow. Some references, such as “these types of games,” could be more precise about which activities are meant. To strengthen the organisation, use clearer topic sentences and explain the link between each example and your argument rather than relying mainly on transition phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to education and development, including “formal education,” “competition,” “thinking process” and “boost their confidence.” These choices allow you to discuss several benefits of classroom play. However, the range is not always controlled naturally, and noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes distract the reader. Examples include “prespective,” “activites,” “thier” and “publised”; phrases such as “sharp minded” and “in the comparison with” are also awkward in context. Repetition of “activities,” “games” and “students” limits flexibility. Aim to learn accurate collocations and vary repeated terms—for instance, describe activities as “interactive learning tasks” or “group-based exercises”—while proofreading spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “as,” “that” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “a student who have activities” has an agreement error, while “we will discussed this here” uses an incorrect verb form. In “many of the employee has been revealed,” the subject and verb do not agree, and the passive construction is not formed appropriately. Some sentences also combine several ideas without clear punctuation. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, verb forms and sentence boundaries, and use shorter sentences when a complex structure becomes difficult to control.

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