Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals argue that primary schools focuses more on formal learning instead of playing. Yes, I agree with this point of view that playing is equally important as learning.

Firstly, children who did'nt spend their time on playing or doing extra activites will be slower and unhealthy as they grow old. For instance, a child who is just focusing on studies and trying to get good grades will become lonely. In addition, there are high chances that he will go in depression when he grows old. In contrast, a child who focus both on studies and playing will tend to become more fast and healthy as he grows old. Furthermore, there are high chances that he will become a good leader when he grows old. Secondly, it's a responsiblity of parents also to involve their child in playing. In detail, parents who encourge their child to play as well as focus on studies are realtively more better than the parents who don't let their child to play.

Thirdly, lack of playing can also cause serious problems in a child communication skills. For instance, a child who just focus on his studies will have high chances to become an introvert person in future and will lack to express his feelings. In addition, this will leads to lack of interaction with other children and eventually he will not socialise and can't make friends.

In conclusion, its the government responsiblity to spread awareness among parents and primary schools. So, the parents can keep an eye on their children daily activites and also they should encourge their child to participate more in extra activies. At last, primary schools should be regulated with heavy fines if they are not making a balance between learning and playing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that play matters alongside formal learning, and you give relevant reasons involving health, leadership and social skills. The discussion of communication and making friends is particularly connected to the question. However, the two parts are not developed equally. You explain why play is beneficial, but say less about whether primary schools actually focus too much on formal learning or how classroom teaching could balance play and study. Some claims, such as children becoming depressed or good leaders, are asserted rather than supported with explanation or a specific example. The conclusion proposes awareness and fines, but does not fully draw together your view of classroom practice. Develop fewer points with clearer reasoning and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “Thirdly,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. However, the repeated numbered transitions can feel mechanical, and the first body paragraph contains several different claims—health, loneliness, leadership and parental responsibility—without a clear hierarchy. Some connections are also unclear: “In contrast” introduces a comparison, but the relationship between the two children could be explained more precisely. Pronouns such as “he” are repeated and sometimes make the discussion sound less general. Group related ideas into focused paragraphs and use transitions that show the actual relationship between claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including terms related to “formal learning,” “communication skills,” “interaction” and “socialise.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which keeps the expression from being consistently precise. Examples include “more fast,” “go in depression,” “lack to express his feelings,” and “more better.” Spelling errors such as “responsiblity,” “encourge” and “activites” also occur repeatedly. These do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they reduce clarity and control. Build a bank of accurate phrases for discussing child development and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning “who” and “when,” and most of the argument remains understandable. However, errors occur across verb forms, agreement and sentence construction. For example, “primary schools focuses” should use a plural verb, while “a child who focus” needs a singular verb. “This will leads” also has an incorrect verb form, and “children who did'nt spend” contains an incorrect contraction and tense choice. There are some longer sentences, but control is uneven, so the range does not yet support consistently clear expression. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and read each sentence aloud to identify awkward or incomplete constructions.

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