Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an ongoing debate about whether children in primary schools should focus more in there studies or they should a balance of both studies and physical activities. This essay will explain why I completely agree with the latter view.

On the one hand, there are public who believe that students in primary schools should completely focus on their studies and should avoid physical activities. However, study can help student to achieve numerous goal, but without getting involved in any sports children may face different health issues. Moreover, people should understand that if children have proper physical and mental growth in their early age then it will create a greater impact on children life. Such as, a student includes physical activities in their early age then in his teenage he might be the most active student in the class or in school because playing helps student to build communication and teamwork type skills.

On the other hand, if children would focus more in their studies then it may create different kinds of health problems. As children gets excessive homework and stress of exam, as a result it may create anxiety and depression in the children. Whereas in the primary age children should develop basic understanding skills of world. If they spend more time in completing their homework and preparing for their exams then they might loss to focus on developing their basic skills. Therefore, schools and parents should do not force children to focus on their academic more.

In conclusion, although learning and performing good in studies is beneficial, I agree that students should also include physical activities in their early age to develop different kinds of skill which might help them in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary pupils need a balance, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both formal study and physical activity, with relevant points about health, stress, teamwork and communication. However, the task asks specifically how important play is alongside learning in the classroom, while much of your discussion focuses on sports and homework rather than explaining how classroom play supports learning. Some ideas are also asserted rather than developed—for example, the claim that early physical activity makes a student “the most active” later is not fully explained or supported. To strengthen the response, discuss specific forms of play-based classroom learning and show how they complement academic instruction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting considerations, and a conclusion. The progression from possible benefits of study to the risks of excessive academic pressure is generally understandable, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “On the other hand” and “Therefore” help signal relationships. At times, however, the organisation feels mechanical, and the first body paragraph’s opening claim that pupils should “completely focus” on study is not clearly reconciled with the paragraph’s argument for physical activity. Some references, such as “it” in “it may create different kinds of health problems,” are not fully precise. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “physical activities,” “health issues,” “teamwork,” “excessive homework,” “anxiety” and “depression,” which makes the main ideas clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “ongoing debate” and “proper physical and mental growth.” However, several word-choice and collocation errors reduce naturalness: “there studies,” “numerous goal,” “in their early age,” and “loss to focus” are not accurate expressions. Repetition of “children,” “students” and “physical activities” also limits flexibility. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships—for example, “academic studies,” “at an early age,” and “lose focus”—and vary repeated terms where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if children have proper physical and mental growth…” and a cause-and-effect sentence beginning “As children gets excessive homework…”. This shows some range, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction. For instance, “there are public who believe” and “children gets” have agreement or form problems, while “schools and parents should do not force” uses an incorrect verb pattern. The sentence beginning “Such as” is also an incomplete construction. Review subject–verb agreement and modal verb patterns, and make sure examples are attached to complete sentences. More accurate complex sentences would improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.