Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In given statement people are argue that primary schools focus on formal learning

I agree with this opinion because we can see that in primary schools most if the teachers work.on delivering the educatoion material to childrens they like to teach in classes most of the time. Because in nowdays private opened

schools numbers areincreasing and they have

a compitetion between them with different schools.They start putting burden on students

They start using ipads and computers for teaching .In primary schools levels of learning is not same in all students sometime some students pick things quickly some of them face

problems which put extra burden on them In

nowdays we can see in primary schools new subjects are adding quickly which is putting extra burden on kids

Playing is also important for primary kids

in this age they have a oppertunities to learn

different activities primary schools should add

playing activities fir their development .Kids become more excited if they add playing activities with studying Activities reduce mental

pressure on brains.Their should be playing compitions in schools .It can helps in changeing

their behaviours .Playing activites will help in making their future in different fields

In overall we can say that primary schools should start focusing on activities also .its also important to focus on studies but sometimes students get frustrated with burdens playing

activities help them in good ways They shold reduce their compitetion rather then putting pressurers they should also ficus

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a relevant position by agreeing that formal learning can be overemphasised, and you address the importance of play, mentioning reduced mental pressure, behaviour, and children’s development. However, the response only partially develops the task: claims such as schools adding subjects quickly and competing with one another are not supported with a specific example or explanation of how this affects pupils. The importance of play is also asserted more than demonstrated, and the conclusion does not clearly summarise your reasons. The required minimum length is not met: the response is 243 words, seven words short. To strengthen the response, explain one or two key points in more depth and include a relevant classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic overall structure, with separate paragraphs for formal learning, play, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify the main topics. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first paragraph moves from teachers’ classroom focus to private-school competition, technology, differences in learning pace, and new subjects without showing how these points connect. Linking is also repetitive or awkward, particularly the repeated use of “They start” and “In nowadays.” Some sentences run together, while line breaks interrupt ideas rather than marking clear units. Use a clearer sequence—claim, explanation, example—and connect ideas with accurate, varied transitions. A more focused conclusion would also help the response feel complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “mental pressure,” “activities,” and “development,” and the main message is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “burden,” “playing activities,” and “schools.” There are also frequent spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations, such as “putting burden on students,” “playing competitions,” and “make their future in different fields.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Build a wider set of accurate education-related expressions and check spelling carefully; for example, describe the pressure on pupils as “academic workload” and refer to “extracurricular activities” or “play-based learning” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, but the range of sentence structures is limited, and longer attempts often contain errors that make reading difficult. Examples include “people are argue,” “most if the teachers work.on delivering,” and “It can helps,” which show problems with verb forms and sentence construction. Agreement and articles are also unreliable, as in “Playing is also important for primary kids” followed by “they have a opportunities,” and “primary schools levels of learning.” Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing sentence boundaries and spaces, particularly in the first two paragraphs. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea at a time, then add subordinate clauses only when you can control their grammar and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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