Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some indiiduals argue that, primary education should focus on formal learning in students. I totally disagreed with this, as initial schooling isn't mean to make enviroment strict, because in this age child brain is learning with experiment, such as playing.

Firstly, students who exposed to strict enviroment, that has limitating, which can hinder their mental ability. In childhood, the brain is evolving and learning with things to expose. In this era, a child should be free, so whetever they want to do in their school. The tuff enviroment can stop them to discover their passion, as many individuals reports. for instance, a recent youtube video i saw, where a speaker talked about it. He said, when he was in primary education, there were under qualified and trained stuff, that stop him, when he was playing and try to speak with the purpose of to correct him. As a result, shyness had developed to me and i struggle a lot till his higher education, if i speak, people would judge me.

Conversely, if a student grow in an enviroment where people encourge instead of judging him, it'll developed self confidence that will make successful in his life. There should be proper balce between education and extra activies in primary school envirome, so they would learn knowledge with enjoyment. Recent research shows that, games are also important , as it helps body to grow and also made discipline and sportmanship spirit in student.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools should concentrate on formal learning, and you argue that play supports children’s development. You also mention a balance between education and activities, so both questions receive some attention. However, the response does not fully explain how play should be incorporated into classroom learning, and several points remain under-developed. For example, the account of a speaker’s experience is difficult to connect to your own argument, while the claims about confidence, discipline and sportsmanship would benefit from clearer explanation or a relevant example. The response is also 9 words below the required minimum. Develop each main idea further and make the link between evidence and your position explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about the possible harm of restrictive schooling, and a contrasting paragraph supporting encouragement and play. Connectors such as “Firstly,” “Conversely” and “As a result” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is sometimes difficult to follow because several points are crowded together, and the example about the speaker shifts into an unclear first-person account (“shyness had developed to me”). The final paragraph introduces balance, research, physical growth and sportsmanship without developing their connections. Use clearer topic sentences, keep each paragraph focused on one main point, and make references such as “it” and “they” unambiguous. This would make the overall organisation more coherent and cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “formal learning,” “mental ability,” “self confidence,” “discipline” and “sportmanship spirit.” These choices show an effort to discuss the topic beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited and inaccurate word choice, spelling and collocation are noticeable, sometimes making meaning harder to understand. Examples include “limitating,” “tuff enviroment,” “under qualified and trained stuff,” and “proper balce.” Some phrases, such as “learning with things to expose,” do not express the intended idea naturally. Build a bank of accurate topic vocabulary and check spelling and word combinations. More precise expressions for classroom activities, child development and supportive teaching would help you communicate your ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a reason clause with “as” and a conditional idea beginning “if a student grow…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction frequently affect clarity. For example, “I totally disagreed” does not fit the present argument, “initial schooling isn't mean” has an incorrect verb pattern, and “if a student grow” lacks subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “Firstly, students who exposed…” is also incomplete or structurally unclear. Practise building accurate sentences with “because,” “if” and relative clauses, and check that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb. Careful punctuation and proofreading would also improve readability.

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