Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

primary education plays a vital role in childs development. although academic learning is essential, i strongly agree that primary schools sometimes place too much emphasis on formal education. i believe that children should have sufficient opportunities to play while learning.

on the one hand, formal education provides children with fundamental skills, including reading, writing and mathematics. these subjects are necessary for everyday lives and for their future studies. however, spending long hours memorising information and completing written exercises can make young learners feel exhausted and lose interest in their studies. therefore, schools should adopt a balance approach that combine academic lessons with enjoyable activities.

on the other hand, play is equally important as studies because it supports children social, emotional and physical development. for example, group games teach students how to cooperate, share responsibilities and solve problems. similarly educational activities such as puzzles, role playing and classroom experiments, can make difficult concepts easier to understand. playing also helps reduce stress, improve concentration, and develop creativity. as a result, they become more motivated to learn and perform better academically.

in my opinion, learning through play should be integral part of the primary education rather than an occassional reward. teachers can introduce mathematical concepts through games or teach science through simple experiments. this approach makes lesson more engaging and allows children to gain practical knowledge instead of relying entirely on memorisation.

in conclusion, although formal education is important, but excessive emphasis on academic woek can limits children overall development. i strongly believe combining lessons with play is the most effective way to prepare young learners for their future

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 8.0

Your response addresses both questions clearly: you agree that formal learning can receive too much emphasis, and you explain why play should be part of classroom learning. The position is consistent from the introduction through the conclusion. Supporting points are relevant and developed with examples, such as group games fostering cooperation and puzzles or experiments making concepts easier to understand. You also offer practical classroom applications, including teaching mathematics through games and science through experiments. This gives the argument good coverage and development. To make the discussion even more complete, explain a little more specifically when formal instruction becomes excessive or how teachers can balance play with essential academic content; the current claim about long hours of memorisation is persuasive but general.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: it introduces your view, considers the value of formal learning, develops the benefits of play, gives practical examples, and concludes with a direct restatement. Paragraphing supports this sequence, and transitions such as “on the one hand,” “on the other hand,” and “as a result” help readers follow the argument. Some linking is slightly mechanical, particularly the paired “on the one hand/on the other hand” structure, and the final paragraph repeats ideas already made rather than adding a distinct synthesis. There is also a small clarity issue in “as a result, they become more motivated,” where “they” could refer more explicitly to children. Varying transitions and using precise references would make cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “fundamental skills,” “emotional and physical development,” “cooperate,” “concentration,” and “practical knowledge.” These choices communicate the argument effectively, and phrases such as “learning through play” are appropriate to the topic. There are, however, some inaccurate collocations and word-form or spelling slips that limit precision: “a balance approach” would be “a balanced approach,” “everyday lives” is less natural here than “everyday life,” and “occassional” and “woek” are misspelled. “Academic learning” and “formal education” are repeated often, so using a few accurate alternatives would add flexibility. The vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but more consistent control of collocation and spelling would strengthen it.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including concessive clauses (“although academic learning is essential”) and cause-and-effect sentences (“therefore, schools should…”). Most meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include missing possessive forms in “childs development” and “children social…development,” missing articles in “should be integral part” and “makes lesson more engaging,” and agreement errors in “an approach that combine” and “academic work can limits.” The conclusion also has an unnecessary “but” after “although.” Capitalisation at the start of sentences is inconsistent. These errors rarely obstruct understanding, but checking articles, possessives, subject–verb agreement, and sentence openings would improve accuracy while preserving your range.

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