Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some of the people thinks that primary schools concentrate more on formal teaching. I compelety agree with this view, However, playing has several advantages in terms of mood freshing, time passing, as studying offers enormous advantages like competent jobs and valuable skills to the student in their initail learning.

First of all, Childrens who focus more on their studies in the initial stage of their learning becomes more extraordinary in problem solving and getting high marks than their peers which leads them for higher acheivement in terms of competent job later on in their carrer. For exmaple, In our class there were few students who used to focus more on studying as compared to sports became doctors and engineers later on they cleared their comptititive exams and have high income job, today they are sucessfull surgeons, physicians and others are best civil and electrical engineers.

Secondaly. In terms of valuable skills, Children who focus more on learning skills and studies, usually becomes competent to deal with regular life problems. For exmaple, One of my firend was very clever in his studies he used to learn skills rather than playing sports, today he can repair anything on his own rather than waiting for a mechanic. However playing offers limited benefits due to high compitition and less chances of becoming sucessfull. For example, In our country there are a lot of good players are there, but those how have back support of polititians and army officers can play cricket. In conclusion, learning in the primary schools is more advantagenous than playing sports.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the opening: you agree that formal learning is emphasised, and your conclusion again favours learning over play. You give relevant reasons, including academic achievement and practical skills, with examples about classmates becoming professionals and a friend learning repairs. However, the response only partly answers the question. It does not explain clearly how important play is alongside learning in the primary classroom, and the claim that play offers “limited benefits” is asserted rather than supported. Some examples focus on later careers or access to competitive sport rather than classroom learning. Develop a balanced explanation of how play supports children’s development, then clarify how schools should combine it with formal lessons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “First of all” and “Secondaly,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some organisation, and the examples are generally placed near the points they illustrate. However, progression is limited because both body paragraphs mainly repeat the case for studying, while the importance of play is not developed as a separate line of argument. Linking is sometimes mechanical or unclear: “However” introduces a point about play but the relationship to the preceding skills argument is not fully explained. Several sentences are very long and contain multiple ideas, making the sequence harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences, separate claims from examples, and organise the discussion around both learning and play.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “problem solving,” “valuable skills,” “competitive exams,” and “primary schools.” There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as children becoming able to “deal with regular life problems.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “mood freshing,” “time passing,” “back support,” and “high income job.” Spelling errors such as “compelety,” “acheivement,” and “sucessfull” are also noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than ambitious but unclear wording, and proofread spelling. For instance, describe play as supporting wellbeing or social development, rather than as merely passing time.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses with “who,” “which,” and “rather than,” but control is inconsistent. Agreement and verb forms are frequent problems: “Some of the people thinks” should be “Some people think,” and “Children … becomes” should be “children … become.” Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention; for example, “there were few students” needs an article or quantifier, and “Secondaly.” is an incorrect sentence break. The opening sentence joins several ideas with commas, while capitalisation after commas is inconsistent. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses and check agreement, punctuation, and articles.

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