Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary school are involve in only curriculum activities mostly rather than extracurricular activities. People are talked about formal learning because their childern are facing this prolems that's why they argue about the schools managment. Nowadays, in curriculam there are verity of subjects students need to cover in one term. However, time is very short to clear all syllabus in an year. To handle this problem, managment stop all extra activities in school time. Studying all the day last harmful impact on kids mind and physical growth. This is the major cause behind the people argue about primary school too much focus on formal learning only.

From my prespective, my opinion about people thinking and primary schools focus is consist on one major cause. The reason why am agree with public argument is students less involvment in physical activities. For instance, primary kids join school at morning and leave in noon, almsot six hours plus countinuously study without any extracurricular involvements. When i was kids the things was same, no extra engagments, just study hard all the day. After coming back from school the other burden was homework. Kids in that time still get some time to involve in physical events. Nowadays, when childern comes to home they just picked up there phones and lay down. That's why i feel that, schools should focus on the physical engagments of students, they can arrange some sports events and other things. These events or activites will be helpful for student interest in sports or other things rather than formal study.

Playing is very important for childern same as vital is learning. Sports or these type of physical engagments build strong mind of kids and also help them to achieve good health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the prompt: you agree that schools give too much attention to formal study, and you state that play and physical activity are important. Your reasons about long school days, limited extracurricular opportunities, homework and children’s health are relevant. The personal example beginning “When I was kids” also helps illustrate your view. However, the discussion is uneven: the first paragraph mainly explains why schools prioritise the syllabus, while the importance of play is asserted more briefly than it is explained. Develop this point with a specific example of how play supports learning, social skills or concentration, and make your degree of agreement explicit in a clear thesis.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from the issue to your personal view and then to the value of play. Examples such as the school day and homework generally support the surrounding point. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the shift from children’s past routines to their current phone use needs a clearer link to the argument about schools. Connectors such as “However,” “For instance,” and “That’s why” are used, but some links feel mechanical or do not show the precise relationship between ideas. Use clearer topic sentences and organise each paragraph around one main claim, followed by explanation and an example. This would make the overall argument easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “curriculum,” “extracurricular activities,” “physical activities,” and “syllabus.” These terms help communicate the central issue. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts of the response less clear, such as “variety of subjects students need to cover,” “physical engagments,” and “schools managment.” Repetition of “activities,” “study” and “kids” also reduces precision. Aim to use more natural academic phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, describe schools as “prioritising academic instruction” and explain that play can “support children’s physical and social development.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause in “The reason why am agree with public argument is…” and a time clause beginning “When I was kids.” These attempts show an effort to connect ideas, but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur throughout, for example “Primary school are involve,” “students need to cover,” and “when childern comes to home.” Some sentences are also awkwardly joined or punctuated, which can make the intended relationship between ideas harder to understand. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete clause patterns, then vary sentence structures while keeping them clear.

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