Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A part of the society argue that formal learning focused too much in primary schools. No, I disagree with this opinion. Further, I wil expain in the essay below.

Firstly, some individuals believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. But I did not agree with this opinion because in primary schools children learn the basic knowledge life as well as how to talk others, how we gave respect to others. Primary schools also teach their students how they live thier life like a better and well displined person.For instance, they teaches us how to solve the problems in different ways. Moreover, they were also tells us how to respect our youngers and olders.

Secondly, it is very important for the children to learn in the primary school as well as play in the classroom. This is because, playing different games can grow up the mind of children and it also makes the children physically fit. It is important because if a children learn continuouly in the classroom and they get bored an cannot pay much attention to their studies. That's why, playing different games in the middle of learning make the mind fresh. So, they can pay much more attention to their studies after refreshment.

In conclusion, the statement of some people is not that kind of accurate because primary schools also give the basic knowledge of life as well as different respect elements. Moreover, learn during play is a better way to learn and gain knowledge whilw playing. And the most important thing is that learn thing while playing, they always remember in their lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you also explain why play matters alongside study. The points about learning basic life skills and respect, and about games helping children stay physically fit and attentive, are relevant to both questions. However, the first part is more fully addressed than the second: the claims about respect and becoming disciplined are asserted rather than explained with a specific example, while the benefits of play are repeated without much further development. To strengthen the response, explain how a particular classroom activity supports learning and give a concrete example from experience or observation. The response meets the stated length requirement; nine words copied from the task prompt were excluded from the count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing the two questions, and a conclusion. Sequencing expressions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help the reader follow this plan. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and several ideas are linked by repeated “Moreover,” “because,” and “So” rather than by clearly showing how one point develops the next. Some references are also unclear, as in “they always remember in their lives,” where the reader must infer what “they” refers to. Improve cohesion by grouping related explanations, varying linking methods, and using precise references to children, activities, or knowledge. This would make the argument flow more naturally while retaining the clear paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “basic knowledge,” “physically fit,” and “pay attention.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make parts of the response less natural or occasionally difficult to interpret. Examples include “respect elements,” “grow up the mind,” and “learn thing while playing”; these do not express the intended ideas idiomatically. Spelling errors such as “displined,” “continuouly,” and “whilw” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise vocabulary for education and child development, and check spelling and common word combinations. For instance, describe play as “stimulating children’s thinking” rather than saying it “grow[s] up the mind.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a reason clause in “This is because…” and a conditional idea beginning “if a children learn…”. The main message is generally recoverable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “A part of the society argue” needs a singular subject and matching verb, while “they teaches us” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. In “if a children learn continuously … they get bored an cannot pay,” the article, agreement, and clause construction need correction. Practise building accurate complex sentences, then proofread each sentence for subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete clauses. Greater control of these patterns would make your ideas clearer.

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