Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and neglect children's playtime. I agree with this point because, although formal learning is essential, children also need time to play and relax their minds.

Primary school children are young and can learn many things easily. It is necessary to focus on their formal education because they develop essential skills such as reading, writing, and speaking, which are helpful for their future education and everyday lives. The basic knowledge and skills they acquire in primary school will serve as a foundation for their future learning. Therefore, schools should ensure that children develop these skills effectively.

On the other hand, physical activity is also necessary for young children because they need time to relax after studying. Children require time to play so that they do not become stressed by academic pressure. Playing also helps them stay physically active, improve their social skills, and develop their creativity. I believe that physical activities and play are just as important as formal learning and education.

In conclusion, I believe that primary schools should maintain a balance between formal education and play rather than focusing excessively on academic learning. This approach will help children develop both academically and physically while supporting their overall well-being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you agree that schools can overemphasise formal learning, while recognising its value. You address both the need for academic foundations and the importance of play, with relevant points about stress, physical activity, social skills and creativity. However, these ideas are mostly asserted rather than developed; for example, you list benefits of play but give no specific example or explanation of how classroom play supports learning. The response also contains 199 words, so it is 51 words below the 250-word minimum; 12 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. This limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Extend the discussion with a concrete example and clarify how much classroom time should be devoted to play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs consider formal learning and play, and the conclusion restates your position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” make the direction easy to follow. However, progression within the body paragraphs is somewhat list-like: the benefits of formal education and play are presented one after another without much explanation of how they connect to your central argument. The repeated use of “children” and “play” also makes the flow less varied. To strengthen cohesion, link each supporting point explicitly to the balance you recommend and use clearer references or transitions between related ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “academic pressure,” “social skills,” “creativity,” and “overall well-being.” These choices communicate your ideas clearly, and there are no spelling problems that interfere with understanding. The vocabulary is nevertheless fairly familiar and repetitive, particularly “children,” “skills,” “play,” and “important.” Some phrases are broad, such as “learn many things easily” and “helpful for their future education and everyday lives,” so they do not express your meaning very precisely. Aim to use more specific language for classroom activities and outcomes, while keeping collocations natural. This would add flexibility and precision without making the response sound forced.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You show a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and most sentences are clear. For example, the opening uses a subordinate clause effectively: “because, although formal learning is essential, children also need time to play.” You also use purpose and result structures, such as “so that they do not become stressed” and “which are helpful for their future education.” Some sentence patterns are repeated, however, and the range of structures remains modest. The sentence “Primary school children are young and can learn many things easily” is grammatically sound but could be developed into a more complex explanation. To improve, vary clause structures and combine related points carefully, while checking punctuation around introductory and subordinate clauses.

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