Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people believe that primary school focus too much on formal education. They think children should also have more time to play. I mostly agree with this opinion because playing is important for children is healthy, learning and development.

First of all formal learning is necessary young children. At primary school children learn at basic mathematic, english and science. These subject can help them develop skills and learn new things. Childrens is reading and writing can feel tried and bored. As a result childrens lose internet in their studies therfore, teacher give break and give enjoy drawing task. Childrens draw drawing feel happy and enjoy. And for example teacher gives pictures, different activites and made group for fun.

Secondly, playing is more impotant for children. They can learn new thing and active and happy. When children play together learn new thing, share and enjoy and follow rules and work as a team. They also improve communication skills and learn new things. for example teacher can use a counting game and mathematics and making different pictures. Children feel happy and enjoy and learn new things.

In conclusion,i believe that primary school students focus on formal learning. Although academic subject are important play is equally also

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource4.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy4.5
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear, mostly supportive position in the opening (“I mostly agree”) and address both formal learning and the value of play. Relevant points include learning basic subjects and developing teamwork and communication through games. However, these ideas are brief and sometimes unclear, and the conclusion is unfinished: “play is equally also” does not complete your answer to how important play is. The response also contains 204 words, so it does not meet the required minimum of 250. This limits the space available to explain your reasons and provide a developed example. Extend each main point with a specific classroom example and explain how play complements, rather than replaces, formal learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an identifiable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “First of all” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic sense of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are repeated or joined without clear relationships. For example, the sequence about children feeling bored, teachers giving a break, and drawing activities is hard to interpret, while “And for example” adds another point without a clear link. The conclusion is incomplete, which also weakens the overall progression. Use one central idea per paragraph, connect each example explicitly to that idea, and finish with a complete summary of your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “communication skills,” “follow rules,” and “work as a team.” These phrases help convey your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand. Examples include “lose internet” for losing interest, “feel tried” for feeling tired, and “more impotant.” Repeated use of “learn new things,” “happy,” and “enjoy” also makes the writing less precise. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and natural word combinations; for instance, describe play as supporting “social development” or “cooperation,” rather than repeating general phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, such as “When children play together learn new thing, share and enjoy and follow rules,” but the longer attempts are often incomplete or inaccurately formed. Errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and plurals occur frequently: “primary school focus,” “These subject can help,” and “Childrens is reading and writing” all require grammatical changes. The final sentence, “Although academic subject are important play is equally also,” is incomplete and lacks clear punctuation, so its meaning is difficult to recover. Focus first on producing accurate complete sentences, then add controlled complex forms using conjunctions such as “because” and “although.”

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