Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Intoduction :

This essay say that some human thought that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I strongly agree to this opinion, because younger learn easily through step by step way.

Body paragraph 1

The main reason that the younger student not pick thing easily. To illustrate that younger student studying at the starting point so it can not pick heavy and double mind lecture so student pick normal and formal things.while one more example that student like interested stories and enjoy easy lecture when teachers teach hard lecture then these lecture not understand by younger student. The mind of the children are no stay on the highest position so normal and step by step lecture help the primary student.

Body paragraph 2

The other reason of this opinion that student lose the interest in studying. For instance, when student heard hard lecture and not understand so student thoght that study are burden for us then its lose the interest and not focus on better study. One extra example that every thing learned and performed through step by step procedure. while student can not learn direct lecture and skip main step. one more reason every student have separate thinkness and mind. so every student can not pick and understand the lecture easily.

Concullusion

in concullusion, I strongly believe that younger student need a formal learning because student pick easily lecture and want a intersted study so its focus on easy study then teacgher teacg easy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a clear position—“I strongly agree”—and give reasons related to children’s ability to understand lessons and maintain interest. However, the response does not fully answer both parts of the question: it argues for easier, step-by-step formal teaching but does not explain how important play is or give examples of play in the classroom. Several points, such as students having “separate thinkness and mind,” are difficult to interpret and are not developed with relevant examples. The conclusion also contradicts the main position by saying children “need a formal learning.” The response is 238 words, below the 250-word minimum; the nine words copied from the prompt are excluded from this count. Develop a consistent position and address learning and play directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly group reasons about understanding and interest. This gives the reader a basic structure. However, progression within the paragraphs is often unclear: several examples repeat the idea that children cannot understand difficult lessons, while links such as “while” and “one more example” do not clearly show how the ideas relate. Some references are also confusing, including “these lecture” and “its lose the interest.” The conclusion does not follow logically from the stated agreement because it supports formal learning rather than balancing it with play. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example to one main point, and make the conclusion consistent with the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “primary schools,” “formal learning,” “interest,” and “lecture,” so the general topic is recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or forms make ideas difficult to understand. For example, “heavy and double mind lecture,” “separate thinkness,” and “intersted study” do not communicate precise meanings. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as “Intoduction,” “Concullusion,” and “thoght.” Build a more accurate range for discussing classroom learning and play, and check spelling and collocations. More precise phrases such as “age-appropriate lessons” and “hands-on activities” would help express your ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses beginning with “because,” “when,” and “so.” This shows some effort to connect ideas, and the overall meaning can often be inferred. However, sentence structures are frequently inaccurate, particularly in subject–verb agreement and verb forms: “This essay say,” “student lose,” and “every student have” need correction. Articles and plurals are also often missing or inconsistent, as in “the younger student” and “these lecture.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries are unreliable, with run-on constructions such as “...formal things.while one more example...” Review basic sentence patterns and agreement, then use full stops and capital letters consistently before attempting longer sentences.

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