Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely happening that schools are now just focusing on formal education making children to just learn what they want and not thinking about their personal habits and equalities. I think students in primary schools should be allowed to follow their hobbies and learn what they want.

Just focusing on formal learning all the time can lead to many significant issues, children can may face stress and frustration can which can affect their overall well-being. many individuals can also lead to lose interest in education. making then leaning new skill can also be stressful because not every person want to learn Ai or coding my they want to learn something physical.

School should must focus on physical learning as well on formal learning because it will help students in various ways. If student can choose their hobbies based on their personality it will help to make it profession for example football cricket and any other digital games as well. Schools can also arrange events based on different hobbies and skills where students can learn about new skills.

In my personal experience in my school we were allowed to join any kind of sports and can learn any digital skill which we like to perform, and help students to reduce stress and earn some money in future.

In conclusion, I agree to this opinion that primary schools mostly focusing on formal education can lead to stress demotivation and less productivity, whereas balancing both formal and informal learning plays an significant role in students overall well-being and making their true skill useful for future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools can overemphasise formal learning, and you explain that play, hobbies and physical activities can support wellbeing and future skills. This addresses both the concern about formal education and the importance of play. The examples of sports, digital skills and your own school experience are relevant. However, some points are asserted rather than explained: for instance, you mention that hobbies could become professions, but do not show how classroom play helps children develop those skills. The response also shifts between “play,” “physical learning” and “informal learning” without clearly distinguishing them. Develop one or two examples further and explain more directly how play complements academic learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main position is generally easy to identify. Paragraphing helps separate the problems of formal-only learning from the benefits of other activities. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, especially in the second paragraph, where stress, loss of interest and learning new skills are joined without clear links. Connectors such as “because,” “for example” and “whereas” are used, but relationships between ideas are not always expressed accurately. The personal-experience paragraph also begins abruptly. Use clearer topic sentences and organise each paragraph around one main point, then link the example explicitly to that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “hobbies,” “well-being,” “stress” and “skills,” so the reader can understand your central ideas. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “demotivation” and “productivity.” However, the range is limited and some word choices or combinations are unnatural, including “It is widely happening,” “personal habits and equalities,” and “make it profession.” Repetition of “learn,” “skills” and “students” also reduces flexibility. Choose precise terms for the ideas you mean—for example, “personal development” rather than “personal habits and equalities”—and check common collocations. This would make your argument clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a contrast in the conclusion and explanations using “because.” This shows some range, but control is inconsistent, and several sentences contain multiple grammatical problems that make the reader work to understand them. For example, “children can may face stress and frustration can which can affect” has faulty modal and clause structure, while “School should must focus” combines two modal verbs incorrectly. There are also issues with articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “If student can choose” and the comma splice after “significant issues.” Practise building one clear clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses; check verb forms, singular/plural agreement and punctuation when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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